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User Topic: Do you need me to go to my dad's?
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wh keeps asking me this whenever I get upset. I don't know what this means. I feel like maybe he is simply trying to avoid the turmoil or so he can go off and do whatever he wants. Last night after I told him I can no longer believe what he said, he later approached me and told me he would pay for my counseling and he would work all of this out, meaning he would move out. If he wants to leave he is free to go but that's his decision and I get the feeling he is trying to put it on me. I don't want to give him that satisfaction.

I still don't know what I want and I will admit there are times I want to tell him, "Just go."


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is exactly what he wants. He wants to go to his dad's and say you threw him out. I know I was in your shoes a few months ago. I forced him to choose, he chose the OW quickly and easily. He is living the single life, vacations, weekends, and only parents when he wants.
I think you both need to say what you want.
I said I wanted to try and save our family, our marriage.
He said he has been unhappy our whole marriage and deserves to be happy so he packed and left without much fanfare.
Sometimes you want different things and while I always think there are compromises there is no such thing with regard to infidelity.
Q: do you need me to go to my dad's?
A: do you want to go to your dad's?


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Q: do you need me to go to my dad's?
A: do you want to go to your dad's?


That's exactly how I answered. I have told him that I want to work on our marriage but there will be consequences to what he did. He keeps asking if I am committed to us. Makes me want to I told him I'm committed to making myself healthier with or without him. I'm not going anywhere but he did the damage and it's his responsibility to fix it. If he doesn't want to....well that's fine. I was not responsible for the destruction of our marriage and I will be damned if he attempts to put any of it on me. He did this, he needs to own it.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is exactly what he wants. He wants to go to his dad's and say you threw him out.

This is what I agree with.

Also, at least w/ my WH, he wants to hear me say I want to stay w/ him and I want the relationship. So if he says "You want me to go" he wants to hear "noooo I wanna work on this etc etc". However, my answer is "yes, I want you to go" But he won't leave so now I'm going to have to.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, at least w/ my WH, he wants to hear me say I want to stay w/ him and I want the relationship. So if he says "You want me to go" he wants to hear "noooo I wanna work on this etc etc". However, my answer is "yes, I want you to go" But he won't leave so now I'm going to have to.

Aha! I think you are right about that. I believe it is to get me to say, "no no no I don't want you to leave." I wonder what his response will be when I one day say, "yes I do."


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Topic Posts: 5

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