I just don't know what to do. IS this just part of the process? Should I reach out to him? Please help any advice would be helpful
What you are going through is a *dip* and totally a part of the process. (and the holiday season is a BITCH)
When you feel that strong urge....just remember that this guy has made little to no effort to remain a part of his kids' lives. That tells you all that you need to know. Don't use his *personality* as an excuse for him to be a douche.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
He is burying his head in the sand and hoping it all goes away. If you reach out to him, then it goes away and his trick works.
Don't reach out to him.
Do you miss the way he lied? cheated? rugswept? tt'd?
He hasn't really been around, in the kids life and he moved back to his hometown.
Not for nothing, but HE doesn't miss you or the life he had with you .. or the kids or the relationship he had with them. Is he with someone else?
Gently - wake up and smell the sh*tsandwich ...
It sounds like you are in limbo, have either one of you filed for D? Talked to a L? What is the status of your M?
I get this often. I miss being a couple, holding hands, sharing the things the kids do and for us to laugh over...
however, I KNOW what I want and need is not what any ex could give me or it would have lasted.
I think you are longing for what could have been. but you cannot change people. walk away. you deserve better. you know this.
My Dday was 11.25.12, so I am just a few months behind you. I filed for divorce 1.8.13 and it's still not final.
The holidays are tough. I was at my sister's and niece's birthday party and everyone there was a couple, except for my 21 year old nephew. That was hard. The holidays seem to be all about couples and families. I miss being part of a couple. I miss the house I use to live in and past holidays spent there with family.
I don't miss the lies or the deceit. My STBX is a liar and a cheat. I don't want a husband like that, I don't deserve a husband like that. There are no lies in my house now, I am free from that. Would I want to go back to that, no. Even in my loneliest moment, I would not go back. I remember lying next to him in bed, watching him typing away on his laptop and I had no idea he was texting his mistress. When I start to miss him, I think about that, and I am over missing him very quickly.