(((((((hugs)))))))) and thinking of you. I am in literally in the exact boat as you including the blow up with my family recently, although it was only my sister and brother in law who are now scared of him. My family, too are trying to get me to file a restraining order, but I'm scared that might anger him even more.
Mine too is a narcissist. I have been researching sociopaths as well. I can't say for sure on your wh, but he sounds an aweful lot like mine and he fit every sign to a T. Mine was Mr. wonderful too. I keep going back to the good times and just want the last few months to have never happened. Mine, too, blames me, because I can't get over his inappropriate behavior. He wants it to be swept under the rug. He, too, said I am not the person he married and he can no longer be with me. Of course I'm not that sweet fun loving girl he married. When confronted, he became physical and extremely emotionally abusive, blaming me..for what? Discovering his ways and confronting him? How dare I. How dare we expect them to really look at themselves and who they are. They would rather project everything onto us.
I don't want a divorce either. I just want my life back to normal, when it was good. I am in the process of finding a good lawyer as well. My wh is threatening to take me down in court if I file, threatening to destroy me in town, insulting me, criticizing me, has said every hurtful thing imaginable, to the point of me thinking at times, "maybe I should just work it out and pretend none of this happened." Then I snap out of it and realize this is who he is. He can't accept responsibility for his actions. He has no empathy. I'm so glad you found a good lawyer you can trust. Thinking of you.