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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: WH dumped me just now
cliffside
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wants to start over new without the baggage (me and my family).

I've not communicate with him, but this is what he last said to me over the weekend. The more time passes,
The more I realize he meant what he said. I went from being his best friend and loving wife of 10 years- he even told me over and over again recently that I was his biggest supporter and the strongest person he ever met- to a burden he cannot wait to shed. How did I change in front of his eyes?

{{{{statistic}}}
HE is the one with the baggage - and lots of it! You did not change - HE did. He is projecting his issues on to you. If YOU changed, if YOU have baggage, if YOU are the problem then he doesn't have to look in the mirror and see what he has become (or always was). But he is dangerous and you need to go No Contact. Is there anyone who can watch your daughter for a couple of hours tomorrow? You need some you time - some pampering. Get a pedicure, go to a funny movie, find some place to go for a walk or read a book. ESCAPE. You need it. Hugs and support.


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 261 | Registered: Mar 2013
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Statistic))))
I do understand your apprehension about the D process, I know I will feel the same way when I file and have my WH served..
Just know that you are doing the safest possible thing by D'ing your WH..


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2011
allyk2014
♀ New Member
Member # 41688
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((hugs)))))))) and thinking of you. I am in literally in the exact boat as you including the blow up with my family recently, although it was only my sister and brother in law who are now scared of him. My family, too are trying to get me to file a restraining order, but I'm scared that might anger him even more.

Mine too is a narcissist. I have been researching sociopaths as well. I can't say for sure on your wh, but he sounds an aweful lot like mine and he fit every sign to a T. Mine was Mr. wonderful too. I keep going back to the good times and just want the last few months to have never happened. Mine, too, blames me, because I can't get over his inappropriate behavior. He wants it to be swept under the rug. He, too, said I am not the person he married and he can no longer be with me. Of course I'm not that sweet fun loving girl he married. When confronted, he became physical and extremely emotionally abusive, blaming me..for what? Discovering his ways and confronting him? How dare I. How dare we expect them to really look at themselves and who they are. They would rather project everything onto us.

I don't want a divorce either. I just want my life back to normal, when it was good. I am in the process of finding a good lawyer as well. My wh is threatening to take me down in court if I file, threatening to destroy me in town, insulting me, criticizing me, has said every hurtful thing imaginable, to the point of me thinking at times, "maybe I should just work it out and pretend none of this happened." Then I snap out of it and realize this is who he is. He can't accept responsibility for his actions. He has no empathy. I'm so glad you found a good lawyer you can trust. Thinking of you.


Me: 38
WH: 43 Narcissist
Currently separated

Posts: 32 | Registered: Dec 2013
statistic
♀ Member
Member # 39192
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Ally)))))

I'm so sorry that we are in the same boat. Isn't it weird how our own thoughts are used against us? His abusive behavior towards you is inexcusable. Is your family being supportive or putting a lot of pressure on you?
My WH has turned against my family after the blow up. He says they are ungrateful and had no right to argue with him the way they did. I have the same exact thought each day "what if I just go back and put all this behind me." There is obviously something wrong with this because I've not done it yet. I've not gone him despite his requests so something I can't seem to see or feel makes me think it's not a good idea.

My WH has not seen our DD in 5 days and counting. And I am sure even this is my fault. Such a sick, sick game. Our DD is absolutely amazing, gorgeous, and full of smiles and he misses it all. The more he misses out, the more he blames me.

I'm so sorry Ally. PM me anytime. I'm happy to talk or text.


Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing.

~~Tao Te Ching


Posts: 147 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 124
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7

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