we spent the holidays (almost 2 weeks actually) at the in laws. We were having such a good time that WH called in on Sunday and asked his boss if he could take off until Thursday.
WH had been a mean arse during the beginning of December. I even told him to go to his doctor and get his meds adjusted because he was acting like such a jerk. (WH is Bipolar I... found that out after the A. A started when he was severely manic)
So, WH does go to the psychiatrist, who changes up his meds a little. And WOW. I noticed he was much nicer. I don't know if its because we were at his moms and he was relaxed, but he was nicer, and more affectionate than ever. Seriously, he has never kissed me or hugged me in front of his family, and he did that this last two weeks.
We are 4 years out from D-day, and 3 years into R,with 2 of those years separated & the last 1 actually living together again.
His family was very cruel during the divorce. Accepted OW, didnt say anything about his strange behavior or illegal behavior, etc etc... I tried to get them to talk to him about his drug abuse, they wouldnt. Plus, WH began his affair in Nov 2009 and he told the ILS about it then. They knew for 2 months before I did. Didnt say anything to me, and let me come to their house several satets away for Christmas 2009 where he told me he was leaving me again (so basically, I get dumped, ILS know why, and I dont. Im a mess, and have a new born baby...)
I dont forgive them. I think its nice that my kids get to know their cousins (My side of the family is small and there are no little kids except my own). WH's side of the family is huge and there are about 10 cousins, all around the same age. My dd's best friend is her cousin, who is only 2 months older than her.
The ILS were much nicer this trip (my first trip after the divorce was stopped, some people would not even talk to me). People asked if we would consider moving back, we received gifts from people who hadnt given us gifts in years, etc...
Its like they forgot and "forgave" me for things I said during the divorce. (I didnt want the kids alone with certain members of his family, etc)
I dont forgive them though. Under their nice exterior, I know they don't care about me, and really dont care about the kids. They are not friends of the marriage.
Im just so confused.... They were nice, we all had a good time... but I know when push comes to shove, they would only want to "win" the divorce (ie, have my WH get full custody of the kids), they would not want the best interest ofthe kids. And no matter what they say, I am NOT a member of their family. As I told WH... Im just his "Plus One" If he wasnt there, I would not be invited.