well actually multiple exs did contact my husband over the course of my marriage and for the most part I never even questioned it at all. Most of the time he told me--a few I found out after I started searching old emails and uncovered stuff. There were a few just ohh hi haven't talked to you in forever emails.
The ex-girlfriend he did have an affair with was different since she intended to break up both her marriage and his and make him love her. She wanted to start a sexual relationship on purpose and she admits this. she wanted an affair.
Of course this guy would know who it is from since in the email I would say who I was--just not last name. Anonymous email means that I don't want an address included since I don't want an email back. You can send just one email from a random anonymous email server--uncovered that through husband's affair and searches-- the ip address is hidden. You can't search me unless he would pay one of those companies for information...He could do that, sure, just assuming he wouldn't. If he did I wouldn't return the email/phone call etc.
but like I said, I won't do it.
If my husband did find out I would just say--so ??? you have contacted and or had contact with numerous exs and even had an affair with one and you say that I can't do the same? he wouldn't even have an argument. He wouldn't say a word. rightfully so. He might feel bad but too bad. One email is no payback for years of deceit and a blatant affair.
but I won't do it anyway so this is theoretical now.