Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: spaceplease (45329)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Vent: Ex-AP contacted me on New Year's...
AchillesHealed
♀ Member
Member # 41805
Stop  Posted: 9:18 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He sent a text, which I received the next morning, asking if I've "punished" him enough yet. He still does not get it. I responded that I meant it when I told him to never contact me again, and that if his wife continued her harassment, cyberstalking, and online impersonation of me that they would both be hearing from my lawyer and the authorities. He had the nerve to write me back, asking why I "hate" him, and not commenting or inquiring at all about his wife's psycho behavior. I didn't respond, blocked his number again and hope he really gets it now. He is a selfish, immature child, and I feel all the more foolish/regretful for having betrayed my husband with him.

I would never do it, but a part of me wants to tell his wife that two years after D-Day he is still contacting me and that I have refused to engage with him. In her deluded little psycho mind, I am some predator who seduced her husband in one "weak moment" and have basically made a second career out of "breaking up families" (the quotes are hers, taken from her online posts). I also think she expected more drama when she told my husband, maybe even expected him to commiserate with her, and when he chose to handle it privately it set her off. She even claims (online) that my BS still doesn't know about the affair.

And yes, I am fully aware that I did a horrible thing by engaging in an affair, and that I "injected" myself into her marriage. But, her husband also "injected" himself into my marriage, and you don't see MY spouse throwing fifth grade-style tantrums on social media. Especially not TWO YEARS later.

Sorry, vent over. I am not the same person I was when I had the affair, and I really just want to move on.

[This message edited by AchillesHealed at 10:20 AM, January 3rd (Friday)]


Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
longroadhome
♂ Member
Member # 32428
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He sent a text...I responded

^^^Do I need to point out the mistake you made here?

My guess is that he was drunk. New Year's after all. More proof that nobody should drink and operate heavy machinery like cars...or cell phones.

If his BS is truly stalking you, you should notify authorities and be done with all contact with them. It would be healthier for everyone involved if it just stops.


Me: WH
Her: BW, and the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever known

It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier


Posts: 547 | Registered: Jun 2011
AchillesHealed
♀ Member
Member # 41805
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not responded in the past, and that hasn't stopped him. I think he believed that as long as I was just ignoring him and not actively hostile, he still had a chance of renewing contact.

His wife's last harassment incident occurred in mid-November, so I'm hoping she's finally finished. I don't want to stir the pot if it's settled. If she does anything again, though, all bets are off.


Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
Prayingforhope
♂ Member
Member # 41801
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I changed my cell phone number at the request of my BS shortly after DDay. I didn't understand the request at the time since I had already initiated no contact with the OW, but now I do.

Play it safe, change your number and this will never happen again.


WH 41
BS 40
D-Day Oct 28th, 2013
Together 18 years
Three amazing boys 12, 9 & 6
Praying for hope daily

Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2013
AchillesHealed
♀ Member
Member # 41805
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks... I'm considering changing my number. I did finally figure out how to block him permanently, though (previously the "blocks" expired after three months).

Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
harrypotter
♂ Member
Member # 39526
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This probably goes without saying but you do show or tell your BH when you get these text right? I would change the damn number....I know it sucks if you have had that number for a while and everyone you know has it but in the end worth it I would think. Good luck


WS-Me
BS-Her (Lostinthismess)


Posts: 72 | Registered: Jun 2013
AchillesHealed
♀ Member
Member # 41805
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This probably goes without saying but you do show or tell your BH when you get these text right? I would change the damn number....I know it sucks if you have had that number for a while and everyone you know has it but in the end worth it I would think. Good luck

Oh, yes, he saw it. It took everything I had to prevent him from heading over to ex-AP's apartment and killing him.

Every time ex-AP managed to get a message through to me, it made me hate myself all over again for the affair. I really should change my number.

[This message edited by AchillesHealed at 11:09 AM, January 3rd (Friday)]


Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
pointofnoreturn
♀ Member
Member # 41034
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to your cell phone provider and say you are being harassed. Multiple blocking has not stopped him and they probably will oblige without charging you.


Me- WGF 22
Him- BBF 21
Ddays:
August 2011
September 26th, 2013

"A lesson is learned. Life is. Simply. There is no Death. There is no Before. There is no After. All is in Flux. Simply."


Posts: 187 | Registered: Oct 2013
AchillesHealed
♀ Member
Member # 41805
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the advice here, and for letting me vent. One of my New Year's resolutions is to not give ex-AP or his wife any more headspace, so let this be the last post about them!

Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 9

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.