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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The positive
Morhurt
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After Christmas Eve day being probably the hardest day since DDay (no event, just feelings)... but coming out the other side... I'm seeing some positives.

Here are some of mine:
1. If I feel sad or scared or lonely I can tell my H (this was definitely not the case in the past)
2. Not only does he listen to and discuss my feelings but he WANTS to hear them!
3. I see him actively working to be a better husband
4. I see the effects that our new and improved communication has on our kids (they don't know about the As but I was a mess all summer, for that I hurt)
5. My H now shares his feelings with me and I can see how amazing that is for him
6. The anxiety that I've experienced for years has drastically reduced, after the biggest trauma of my life I actually feel less anxious (over all)
7. I see my H really looking at himself and his FOO stuff and trying to figure it all out

There are more but that's a start.

What about you, what are your positives?

p.s. in no way am I thankful for my H's As, I am seeing positives due to shitloads of hard work on both our parts.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 899 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the post
I see all of those as well. The most glaring and moving was #4.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2560 | Registered: Aug 2012
ILINIA
♀ Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

- I feel he finally sees me and loves who I am unconditionally
- He is living a real life and appreciates it so much more.
- I can finally talk to him about anything including sex.
- We are being a team when it comes to parenting


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 444 | Registered: Jul 2013
headdesk
♀ Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH is doing tremendous work on his own stuff and as a result has been the most content he's been since I met him. He's also doing fantastic with the kids. :)


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, all of that.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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