D-Day, June 10, 2012
I would be highly offended by this email. First, it is no one's business except you and your Ex how you are treating each other and whatever sins you are or are not committing are between you and God.
Second, it comes off as very condescending; like you are both being scolded like a couple five year olds. If this pastor felt compelled to say something like this, it should have been said in person and individually, not in an email addressed to both of you.
I think I would speak to whomever wrote this in private and tell them what the situation is and then I'd probably tell them to mind their own business!
View this as an opportunity to get your side of the story out there. Ask how they would recommend a 'Christian' react to the threats and betrayals he has perpetrated. Yes Christ is about forgiveness, but he also turned over the moneylenders' tables in the temple.
And if this doesn't work out the way you want, there are lots of Christian Churches out there. You're not stuck with just the one.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
"I want you both to know that we are paying close attention to the process of this divorce. "
People who spend too much time weeding others backyards, do so because they have too many weeds hiding in their own.
However, if your church is important to you, I agree with devastedmom. Years ago, I received an angry email from a boss saying that I obviously hadn't been doing any work for a long time, and he would be watching me to see if I continued.
I printed out the email, calmly walked into his office, closed the door, and said, "I just got your email, and I don't understand."
That gave him the opportunity to explain his ridiculous opinion, and for me to calmly tell him what was really happening. I did that, of course, because I really needed to keep my job.
I mean no disrespect to you when I say this, but if this person can't come up with an explanation that satisfies you, then maybe this isn't the church for you.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous