if she gets a L (it should like she has) then you 100% need to get a L. Otherwise you will be screwed in the settlement.
Yes. Furthermore, she's been divorced before, so she knows the ropes. I, too, would be very very wary of a "one-time settlement" offer. In my opinion, it's a strategy akin to that of the dishonest dealer who claims that he can only offer you a certain "bargain" price that very day, to try to make you sign on the deal immediately. He knows that if you go home and do some research or price comparisons, you'll find out that his product is overpriced, worthless, or both.
Your wife is the guilty party who wants to rush ahead with the divorce. Please don't let call the shots in the divorce proceedings. She has shown by her callous treatment of you that she now cares only for herself. I guarantee that whatever she might say, she does NOT have your interests at heart, only what is best for her. I'm so sorry.