he wants me to come back home, stay in separate bedrooms but he thinks we need to be under the same roof.
i don't see that happening. i think it would be so awkward and like being a prisoner in my own home. but on the flip side....the thought of finding a new place to live is just too much to bare. packing, moving, being alone.
we don't have kids at home so don't have to worry about that. so what did you do and what would you recommend for me??
Only do the things that make you feel safe and right with the world. Right now your safe feelings are the most important thing for you.
3birds, you did nothing wrong. You should not leave. Your wayward should be the one to figure out where to stay. You should stay home.
DDay: November 20, 2010
Currently working on R
D-day #1 Jan 31 2007
D-Day #2 March 25 2007
Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
Working on Re
The people you do your life with shape the life you live
I managed to get home at 5:30 AM and she was waiting for me. "I was worried about you, I still care about you". Yeah, she cared so much that she cheated on me.
The next day she said she was leaving and going back to her parent's house and taking our two daughters with her. Two days later they were gone.
[This message edited by toomanyregrets at 2:22 PM, January 5th (Sunday)]
"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
After witnessing my complete and utter devastation, the person who professes to love me more than anything or anyone, continued his affair with said Ho for another month or more.
Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I found out one time when on a trip with my friend, and the other time when laying in bed.
Right after both times I started chain smoking, didnt speak, didnt eat and barely slept for days. Both times it took me about a week to say something to him. I unfortunately never got to confront him about it in person.
"This is a story you won't tell the kids we'll never have. Congratulations to you both I hope someway you're happy..."
My world had been blown apart but I knew I didn't want to drink over it.
And I still haven't.
I never kicked her out of the bedroom, but perhaps I should have.
..still trying to find my way back home.
Mentally/emotionally I was gone, barely functioned enough to take care of my kids
Everyone is different, only do what YOU feel comfortable with.
You should do what feels safest for you. Definitely consult a lawyer in order to protect your rights and assets in case he takes advantage of your absence.
When I found out I was at work. At the time I worked for juvie correction place, I was on the girls wing monitoring the showers. I got a text on my phone. I'm fucking *Xh's name*. Sent from whores phone, by her FBH. I had no idea he sent it, no one would answer my frantic texts or calls. I could not leave the floor, security is a big issue specially during showers.
Once I could get off the floor I called Xh and he confirmed it, over the phone while I was at work. I had an out of body experience, I screamed, cried your basic complete melt down right there. Then I went into a numb trance, I stared, I moved, I spoke ... But it was not me, *I* was like floating above myself watching me. I left work and drove the 45 min to the house.
He was not there, refused to tell me where *he* was, he said they were together never told me where. I proceeded to destroy the house. Anything not permanently attached was ripped, thrown, broken, shredded, slammed, kicked, punched you name it I did it. There was a sea of glass everywhere, pieces of broken things, looked like a hurricane had come through the house.
Xh was so kind as to send a mutual friend over to check on me, he had no clue what to do, just watched me rant and rage and break things. Screaming and crying the whole time. Really truly an out of body experience. I threw some stuff into a suitcase, very random things, just whatever I saw I put in there, no rhyme or reason to it, if I saw it and it was ok after my tirade it went in the suitcase. I threw it and Charly(dog) in the car, stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes and started to drive the hotel parking lots.
I was on a mission, I was determined and I was serious, calculating. It was very lucky for me I never found them, someone somewhere was looking out for me, I thank for that everyday. I made it to my moms and at the sight of her with her arms open tears streaming down her face I lost it. I went into a deep dark depression, I didn't sleep, didn't eat. I went through the motions but I was not there, I don't know where I was.
Anyway, here I am ... I had to move out of state for my safety/sanity and their safety. I have been in OK since Nov. 2009. From Aug. 2009 till Nov. 2009 we - well I tried to R the M but he never stopped contact with her. When I found that out I went over the deep end again. I sat outside of his new place he rented and called/text constantly - she was there and he was protecting her. The fucking cowards, he actually threatened to shoot me if I came on the porch. I should have then it would have escalated to a domestic and the cops would have come and arrests been made. They would have lost their jobs, I may have been shot or worse.
Thankfully I did not approach the house I stayed in my car. But I felt their fear, and I know they felt my resolve.
Anyway(again) I am here in OK and slowly ever so slowly I am finding myself again. It is not easy, and it takes time. But you do come out of it, there is light to be found again. You can and you will survive this.
Whore was a close friend, maid of honor in my wedding, her Xbh was best friends with my Xh since 7th grade, each was best man in the others wedding. We were god parents to their 2 boys. Our lives were intertwined, we vacayed together, spent holidays together, just hung out on a random day. Our families parents, siblings ect they were all close - so much destroyed, so much lost for what ??? Some whore who promised she could give you what I was lacking ???
I'm rambling - Point is - do not do anything rash, just breathe, go be with someone you can trust and just breathe. Please do not act like I did, if things had gone just a little differently I would not be here, either I be in prison or a grave.
I did not find out about SI till Dec. 14, 2009 I was already in OK and trying to heal. SI was like cooling, healing balm to my tattered beat up self. I was so overwhelmed and thankful for this place, I signed up right away, and have never once thought twice about it. I am thankful, greatful everyday for this site and the struggle that the mods go through to keep it. What a sacrifice it was for it to start, it came from a place great loss and hurt, and has turned into a place of love, hope, faith, healing. MH & DS or proof enough that good things can come from great despair/heartache - they made it, and then they made a safe place for others to make it also, either as a couple or a single. Thank you.
Anyway(again) I'm rambling again. All you have to do is breathe, just breathe.
eta --- spelling
[This message edited by booger bear at 12:02 AM, January 5th (Sunday)]