WH had texted, called, emailed until finally I said I was somewhere in the middle of the AZ desert. He begged me to come home, said I 'needed' to. But the truth was, I needed to be alone, I needed some time in my own head, with my own thoughts, without the regular daily pressures to deal with.
Since I returned home (We're 5 months from dray) we have been in the same room. Until new information came to light on 12.28.13, that he didn't make "A" mistake. Looks like there was more than 1 ONS! He's killing me with the rugsweeping and TT. I kicked him out of our bed. He's in the guest room and will more than likely be out of the house soon if he doesn't start speaking some truth.
So just like most other responses, you have to do what is right for YOU! Don't make your decision based on fear, I've done some of that..... it's a bad idea. Whatever you need right now, do THAT!
I didn't kick WH out, mostly because I didn't trust him not to stay at OW's apartment no matter what he said about being glad that it was over and I wasn't going to reward him with a soft place to land.
But I have no intention of moving out. This is MY HOUSE too, not just WH's, and although WH crapped all over my ownership and my rights to control what happens in MY HOUSE, nobody is going to make me leave it.
If I choose to let go of this house, it will be because I decide to. And it will not be one instant sooner than that.
The next memory I have was walking out the door for work the next day. I made sure to tell WW, "THIS is what I do. This is what I've always done. I put on my uniform, go to work, support you and the kids the best I can. And THIS...is how you repay me. I give you a life 99% of women would KILL for, and you risk it all for a lousy screw with a fat, old, impotent loser. You make me fucking sick"...or something like that.
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
"The most expensive thing in th world is TRUST, it takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose"
For one week I called in sick and just drove around. I put like 500 miles on my truck that week.
[This message edited by PRNDL at 8:37 PM, January 9th (Thursday)]
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
You will find your way--just pay attention to your what your heart needs. Don't be afraid of pain--the best way out is through. At least it was for me,
I got to my parents house and I realized my mom must have been in a panic waiting there for me (my dad was out of town on business), she came literally running to meet my car. I stayed there for 2 days and made my mom sleep in my bed with me, I was terrified without her. I still cannot believe I had such a feeling of fear.
Then the next day was a Friday and I had a big report due for my VP, so I just went back to work as usual as it was one place to make me feel semi normal. It's still my safe place.
Bottom line is, it all varies. Whatever you do, think of yourself, be as kind to yourself as you can. Focus on you, not your WW.
Update: attempting to reconcile