"The most expensive thing in th world is TRUST, it takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose"
Gently, how do you know that she got an abortion? Unless you can see the medical bill, you don't really know because anything he or she tells you, is coming from the mouth of a liar. I hate to bring that up, but because you have children who would be impacted by him having to pay child support to someone else for 18 years, you need to consider that. Especially if she's far enough along to show, I would demand those medical records or I would get myself to a lawyer and find out if you need to file simply to lock in your children's benefits as primary. I know this is an incredibly horrid thing to have happen, and to have to think about right now.
Please take a look in the upper left corner, at the yellow box. Click on The Healing Library and start reading. There's a lot of good information for you in there that has been written by people who have unfortunately been there and done that. Any post in this forum that has a bulls-eye next to is also good information for you. You may have to go to the bottom of the page and click on page 2 or 3 to find all of those articles they are regularly bumped up to the top for new people. I know that you probably don't feel like it, but you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your children. Stay hydrated, eat what you can, sleep when you can. If you can't keep food down, get a whole nutrition drink like Ensure and sip on it. You need to focus on taking care of yourself alone. Your WH can take care of himself for a while. You need to be a bit selfish and focus on yourself to try to come to terms with the initial trauma. And make no mistake, you have been dealt a trauma as great as being hit by a bus.
Come back often for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (3 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on
There are many ways to handle this. However, there is the one absolute. Focus on you during this. Eat, sleep, fix anything you didnt like about yourself to boost your self esteem.
Read the healing material and 180D his ass.
Keep us posted.