Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: lpearl (44906)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feeling lonely
pregnantandsad
♀ Member
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I have been doing pretty well lately. Noticed I have been thinking less and less about WH, and when thoughts of him and OW cross my mind I don't seem to care too much anymore about them.

I can genuinely say that I do not miss him, or our marriage. But the last few days I have been feeling very sad about not having someone who loves me. I've just been feeling lonely and feeling like eventually meeting someone new and being happy will never happen for me (thinking way too far ahead, I know!).

How do you all get past these lonely periods and try to focus on the good things you currently have? I read a lot about people saying to focus on you, try new things, do things you weren't able to do while married, etc., but that's very hard to do with 2 very small kids. I guess I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself lately and dont know how to snap out of it.


M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's the moon phase, I have been blue all freaking day too!! I did some exercise, that didn't help. Slathered 'stress relief' from Bath & Body Works on ... that didn't help. Met a friend for dinner out, had to fill her in on the rest of the story so ... that didn't help. Just trying to get through this day.

How are the kids, the baby is how many months now? Maybe do something special with them.

(((((p&s))))))


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been feeling the same way lately. I just posted about the great day I had today, but the past few weeks have been ROUGH. I also would never want XH back, but feel really lonely too. I know I'm too much of a mess to even consider dating right now though. I'm hoping things really do get better from here. I have two small children too, so I know that it's hard to get out and try new things.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 890 | Registered: Mar 2013
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg. Me too. Today was a super sad day for me.

Not missing STBX but the loneliness.

I just try to focus on the positives and myself. Mostly keep busy.

I shoveled my walk and my neighbors walk. They just had a baby, so I thought I would up my karma ticker.

Focus on the kiddos. Mine is the only light sometimes. But she shines so bright, it is all I need.

Tomorrow will be better :)


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2013
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto. I'm doing okay and even tend to feel stronger after I come out of a down patch... but I still miss our old home, our routines, cuddling at night and that sort of thing. It's loneliness.

Work has been the best medicine for me when it comes to finding something to at least distract me. I'm finally starting to gain back that DDay weight loss, too... so I'm going to start an exercise routine. I also try to make time for things like face masks, etc. A little pampering.

I've also tried being there for my friends and family more. Gives me an outlet to channel all of that positive, loving energy that used to be focused on him. I take extra time with the dog, I'm there for friends in need, I don't usually turn down invites to parties and opportunities to meet people. Sometimes it can be a little difficult (I still have days where I don't want to shower or I get a little nauseated by the just-married friends blissfully happy with their new babies, etc). But, in general, I like who I'm becoming a hell of a lot more than the person I was when I was with him.

((hugs))

[This message edited by PhantomLimb at 9:52 PM, January 5th (Sunday)]


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm feeling the fact that I only have one friend and she's so lost in her own la-la land all I have is my kids. I adore them and they keep me company but it's not the same as an adult. I need to make new friends as soon as I find a way to duplicate myself.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Loneliness is an issue for me. But not because of XWH - I'm *almost* three years out and I simply don't give a fuck about him anymore - yay! But it is hard to be alone so often.

So I'm working on mindfulness and learning to love who I am without another person involved. I have a boyfriend, but he has 50/50 custody so we see each other on the alternate weeks. But also thinks that learning to be happy with me is important. Not easy, but getting there...


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4513 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm about to be snowed in and so my DD6 won't be at school. I'm desperate to get out of the house and into a more social routine so my take on this is that some of it is time-of-the-year related.

I too feel very lonely and unloved. You are not alone.

I have a goal to do one "self-care" action every day. Today I went to the mall and walked with DD and then we went to Starbucks. Some days I take a long bath or call a friend.

I also made and posted a list of all the horrendous things my ex did. But I understand that this is not so much about the ex as is is about being alone. It is lonely. But this too shall pass, it will not always be like this. Try not to let your mind take you into the future, all you have to do is get through today.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
jemimapd
♀ Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Duplicate post

[This message edited by jemimapd at 10:11 PM, January 5th (Sunday)]


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
pregnantandsad
♀ Member
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. Sorry so many of you are feeling the same, it's no fun at all.

The kids are doing great, the baby is 4 months already! Usually I try to focus on them and it always makes me happy, but the last couple of days I feel so.....distracted? Like my thoughts and feeling of being lonely overwhelm me and stop me from enjoying the moment. Hoping this gets better soon for all of us


M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Topic Posts: 10

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.