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User Topic: It's A Boy
plainpain
♀ Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Discovered via fb sleuthing that the baby was born. This seems to have overwhelmed the infidelity pain to the point of negligible most days. I don't think about them f**king... I think about her holding his baby and having something of him that by rights should be mine. I can't believe this is my life. This is forever. I wish that just once in my life I had wanted to have an affair, or even had an affair, just so I could maybe understand how this could happen. I do not understand. I just do not understand.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 805 | Registered: Jul 2013
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can offer no advice plainpain all I can give you is a heartfelt hug. ((((plainpain)))


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1865 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:04 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((plainpain)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9543 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:42 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Plainpain...I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this mess. I can only try to imagine what you must be feeling. So unfair.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4935 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
NoAnswers37
♀ Member
Member # 40592
Default  Posted: 5:00 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((plainpain)))


Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending

Posts: 122 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: England
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((plainpain)))

Posts: 34748 | Registered: Mar 2011
brokendancer7
♀ Member
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There just are no words to express how sorry I am that you have been handed this situation to deal with.

(((plainpain)))


Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA


Posts: 188 | Registered: Jul 2013
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((plainpain)), I do understand the pain of the OC and it is a constant reminder of the betrayal everyday. It does get better with time, but rules and boundaries must be set. I suggest that you go to the I can Relate forum and connect with other members in the OC Thread. You will get additional support and understanding in this situation.

Much hugs to you.


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,16 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2913 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just try and remember that along with a baby she got a cheater that will probably do the same thing to her. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sick to hear this. I am furious for you and your children. I will be thinking of you. I hope you can find some peace.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1457 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((PP))))

I don't remember, has this child been proven to be his? I mean by DNA testing? Without that, do NOT accept that this baby is his.

Stay strong, focus on you.

((((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((plainpain)))
I can't even think of what to say that can give any comfort, but I hope with time, it hurts less and less.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2213 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((plainpain))))

... so I could maybe understand how this could happen. I do not understand. I just do not understand.
It's unfathomable, honey. There's no sense to be made of some things.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((plainpain)))

You're a better person for not being able to understand how to hurt someone so much.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17072 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((plainpain))


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Feb 2010
Girlietoo
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had something, anything, to say that would make you feel better. The AP in your case is very similar to mine and I just can't imagine myself surviving something like this. But you, you have survived and are surviving and you will keep on surviving. I really am so, so sorry. My heart literally aches for you.


Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You're a better person for not being able to understand how to hurt someone so much.
this^^^^^ times a thousand.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
prowoman
♀ Member
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((plainpain)))


me: BS 39 | stbxWH: 46
DD14, DS2
DDAY: Aug12... A continued "underground"
Separated Nov13 and Divorcing
OC Born May 14

Posts: 129 | Registered: Sep 2013
slide095
♀ Member
Member # 38716
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How terrible.
Just awful, I can't imagine what you're going through.
Stay strong, rally your support system around you.


BW, 31, two young kids

One day at a time....


Posts: 58 | Registered: Mar 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((Plainpain)))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5017 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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