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plainpain (original poster member #40139) posted at 8:38 AM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Discovered via fb sleuthing that the baby was born. This seems to have overwhelmed the infidelity pain to the point of negligible most days. I don't think about them f**king... I think about her holding his baby and having something of him that by rights should be mine. I can't believe this is my life. This is forever. I wish that just once in my life I had wanted to have an affair, or even had an affair, just so I could maybe understand how this could happen. I do not understand. I just do not understand.
Me: Believer, 40s
Him: Liar, 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R. It only hurts now when it rains.
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 9:00 AM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
I can offer no advice plainpain all I can give you is a heartfelt hug. ((((plainpain)))
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 9:04 AM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 9:42 AM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Oh Plainpain...I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this mess. I can only try to imagine what you must be feeling. So unfair. 
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
NoAnswers37 ( member #40592) posted at 11:00 AM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:46 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
brokendancer7 ( member #39911) posted at 3:46 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
There just are no words to express how sorry I am that you have been handed this situation to deal with.
(((plainpain)))
BMC0415 ( member #14038) posted at 3:49 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
((plainpain)), I do understand the pain of the OC and it is a constant reminder of the betrayal everyday. It does get better with time, but rules and boundaries must be set. I suggest that you go to the I can Relate forum and connect with other members in the OC Thread. You will get additional support and understanding in this situation.
Much hugs to you.
Me: 50+ Him: 50+Married: 20+ yearsD-Day: 3/7/07Children: 32dd,31ds,29dd 10 yr. LTA 3 OC w/OW 24,18,18. 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 3:50 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Just try and remember that along with a baby she got a cheater that will probably do the same thing to her. (((HUGS)))
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 3:52 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
I am sick to hear this. I am furious for you and your children. I will be thinking of you. I hope you can find some peace.
Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 5:48 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
((((PP))))
I don't remember, has this child been proven to be his? I mean by DNA testing? Without that, do NOT accept that this baby is his.
Stay strong, focus on you.
((((and strength)))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 5:59 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
(((plainpain)))
I can't even think of what to say that can give any comfort, but I hope with time, it hurts less and less.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:10 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
((((plainpain))))
... so I could maybe understand how this could happen. I do not understand. I just do not understand.
It's unfathomable, honey. There's no sense to be made of some things.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:14 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
(((plainpain)))
You're a better person for not being able to understand how to hurt someone so much.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 6:19 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Girlietoo ( member #38719) posted at 6:26 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
I wish I had something, anything, to say that would make you feel better. The AP in your case is very similar to mine and I just can't imagine myself surviving something like this. But you, you have survived and are surviving and you will keep on surviving. I really am so, so sorry. My heart literally aches for you.
Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died
painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 6:57 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
You're a better person for not being able to understand how to hurt someone so much.
this^^^^^ times a thousand.
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
prowoman ( member #40761) posted at 6:59 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
slide095 ( member #38716) posted at 7:03 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
How terrible.
Just awful, I can't imagine what you're going through.
Stay strong, rally your support system around you.
BW, 31, two young kids
One day at a time....
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 8:56 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
(((((((((Plainpain)))))))
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
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