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User Topic: Hysterectomy questions.
Flatlined123
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So this is for anyone who has had one....

1) Is sex less pleasurable? Such as less intense orgasms or do you feel likd a "bottomless pit" with no cervix?

2) Did it change your sex drive?

3) Did it change how you viewed yourself?


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 677 | Registered: Jun 2012
notquiteoverit
♀ Member
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How much of a hysterectomy? It does make a difference. If they are leaving you with functional ovaries, and not removing parts of your vaginal canal, it should all go back to mostly normal after you recover. I know that many hysterectomies involve only the uterus - they leave the cervix, etc. If that's the case, it won't have a significant impact on your sex drive.

In my case, I had cancer and they removed everything including a small portion of the upper vaginal canal. Due to the fact that they removed my ovaries, I went into menopause at age 37 and had to start hormone therapy to regain my libido. Also, sex was physically uncomfortable partially due to the menopause dryness as well as the physical changes. This can be improved though.

Self-esteem wise, the surgery left me with an unattractive bikini line scar that still bothers me. However, if you are having yours done vaginally or laporascopically, this won't be an issue.

I did not feel less of a woman at all, just that some things would be a little more challenging. Of course, not having to deal with a period is a bonus.

If you have any questions, I would be happy to share anything I can about this experience. Feel free to PM me.


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 576 | Registered: Jul 2011
Flourgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40937
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to have a complete hysterectomy. It has effected how I feel about myself. I feel like less of a woman. I don't have a cervix. My WH sayed other woman was tighter and I think my lack of cervix is part of it. Also my orgasim is not as strong because no uterine contraction. I take hormone injections and have not had libedo or dryness problems. Also the sudden change in hormones triggered migraine headaches that still continue. Even with all the negatives two different drs said I made the right choice.


BS me 39
WH him 40
Dd 7/1/13. TT 7/22/13
SAHM with 4 wonderful kids

Posts: 190 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kansas City
wanttogoforward
♀ Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot speak for myself... but I did recently speak to my sister who had a partial... uterus only and removal through the vagina- so no scars.

She has said it was the best thing she has ever done and is very pleased.

The uterus removal is one thing... removing the ovaries is a whole new thing and more issues with instant menopause :(


Posts: 1184 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) Is sex less pleasurable? Such as less intense orgasms or do you feel likd a "bottomless pit" with no cervix?

2) Did it change your sex drive?

3) Did it change how you viewed yourself?

1. Sex is better- it took time though for complete healing (like a year). Lubrication is simply par for the course now - but it can be half the fun. I have actually had more intense orgasms since my hysterectomy.

2. Yes - for the better since we could be more spontaneous and I had pain before due to massive fibroids

3. It was a mental leap to know that I would no longer be able to carry a child. It was hard. I was young and wanted more children. My health had to come first. Mentally, I would say it was a year also before I was ok with not having more children biologically. I am no less a woman than any other female out there. I simply happen to be missing some of my innards.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jan 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to have a partial hysterectomy for my 31 birthday. I had been having a horrible time from nearly constant bleeding, and had tried a few other things prior to surgery including a D&C, and Ablation. Nothing worked to fix it.

I had had my children and was done using my parts, so was more than happy to see them go. I had also suffered from menstrual migraines since I was a kid, and my mom had breast cancer. So I really really wanted my Dr to take my ovaries as well. He refused since "there is nothing wrong with them" .

I had a vag hyst, he did take my cervix, and uterus, my vaginal canal is still the same. I have no scars, and recovered quickly. It was honestly the best thing I could have done. I still have the hormones, and have monthly bouts of acne, and mood swings, but the migraines are nothing like they were prior to the hyst.

I am now 43, and have started to have some real hot flashes. Certain times of the month I am much dryer than normal. I think these are just the normal changes that happen with age.

Sex was not effected by it, in fact if anything it became much much better, I was able to have sex whenever with no concerns of bleeding all over, or having a mess to contend with. I was able to buy all new sheets, all new panties, and gave away boxes and boxes of tampons, and pads.

For me it was a great wonderful decision. I had to take a month off work, and not do any really heavy lifting for 6 weeks. I was honestly ready to go back to work after 2 weeks, and spent the rest of my time off cleaning closets, and getting rid of baby stuff.

If I had to do it over again, I would do it without a pause or second guess.

So depending on the type you have it can effect you differently. I had a best friend have a total hyst at 45, and she had ZERO yes ZERO menopause effects.

As a nurse I can say the lack of hormones can have a significant impact for SOME people but not all. I can also say that if you have health risks involved with possible cancer, or family history of cancer, removing those problem parts is a great idea.

I can honestly say that if I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I was at a higher risk of issues, like Angelina, or Christina Applegate, I would not hesitate to have a mastectomy, because in the end I will be healthier.

Doing what you are doing now, asking others, collecting info is the smartest best way to prepare yourself for an informed decision.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
CATransplant
♀ Member
Member # 39567
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had a hysterectomy and had my cervix and uterus removed. I must say the only change I have had was less worry. I must admit that even though major parts are missing the feelings I experience are intense and beautiful. I worried needlessly. Hope that answers your question. My sex drive intensified and I must admit that I was a bit disappointed that I could have no more children but as with all else, I have learned to live with it.


Me BS
H FWS
M 3/27/12 together since 06'
A EA/PA 4/19/13/5/26/13
DD 6/12/13
Forced NC 6/13/13
MOW coworker-caught,TT for six months.

Posts: 117 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
CATransplant
♀ Member
Member # 39567
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had a hysterectomy and had my cervix and uterus removed. I must say the only change I have had was less worry. I must admit that even though major parts are missing the feelings I experience are intense and beautiful. I worried needlessly. Hope that answers your question. My sex drive intensified and I must admit that I was a bit disappointed that I could have no more children but as with all else, I have learned to live with it.


Me BS
H FWS
M 3/27/12 together since 06'
A EA/PA 4/19/13/5/26/13
DD 6/12/13
Forced NC 6/13/13
MOW coworker-caught,TT for six months.

Posts: 117 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a total vaginal hysterectomy with ovary/cervix removal this past year due to bleeding issues and liver problems. I have not had vaginal dryness, but the hot flashes are horrible. I have tried two different hormone patches which I am allergic to that cause sores wherever I put the patches. I can't take pills due to my liver problems. It has however not affected my sex drive or the intensity of orgasms. Since I am 50, it really didn't affect how I viewed myself since I was beyond child bearing years. I guess my problem is that the A affected my sex drive for my WH#2, which has affected my wanting to have sex with him at all. I thought after my bleeding issues and the hysterectomy was completed that our sex life would improve. Unfortunately, it has not, so I think it is more to do with his LTA than the actual hysterectomy itself, if that makes sense. I can masterbate and have no problems with orgasm, but I have not had one with him since I discovered his LTA. I think it is more a mental block than an actual physical block.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
LivingALie
♀ Member
Member # 17217
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a full hysterectomy three years ago – I was 54 at the time so childbearing wasn’t an issue.

Mine was done laper and took 3 weeks off work – after 2 weeks I really was fine except maybe tired more easily.

It never made me feel “less” of anything – even shortly after the procedure I would have times when I was in the shower and would see the 2 tiny scars and remember “oh..yes, that’s right, I had a hysterectomy”

As for sex – not much changed there – I was already having lubrication issues anyway due to age – I simply found a better lubricant and that’s all fine now. Bottomless pit? Naaa..not at all. As for the o’s – I will admit they have changed somewhat – not always as intense and sometimes harder to achieve but overall, they’re fine. My drive is about the same too. My H’s affair affected my drive much more than the surgery.

I was already post-menopausal and never had a hot flash in my life – then or now. Occasionally, I will have a night sweat but not a big deal.


Me: BS
H had LTA with co-worker
Both mid-50s
Two sons - grown and on their own
DD - April 2010
Please note registration date is not correct. See my profile for details
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 1264 | Registered: Nov 2007
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had my uterus and cervix removed vaginally. For me sex is better because I had a tilted uterus and sex was sometimes painful.

Best thing I've ever done. I don't have any signs of menopause at all. I had a Libation first because of my bad periods but it didn't work.

I don't feel like it changed me in any way.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had mine in May 2013. Uterus, cervix and one ovarian/tube.

Surgery ran into complications so they did have to do the full cut on me. I do not have any issues with the appearance of the scar.

1) Is sex less pleasurable? Such as less intense orgasms or do you feel likd a "bottomless pit" with no cervix?
2) Did it change your sex drive?

I am not currently in a relationship so I can only have answer this. I do not feel like I have a bottomless pit or 'empty' at all. I am still able to O and do not see any decrease in sensation.

3) Did it change how you viewed yourself? No. I did worry about this but I really do not see/feel any differently.

Although the surgery ran into complications; my recovery went very well, etc.

One of my friends said his wife's sensations actually increased.



Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2176 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

July 15th 2008 is one of the happiest days of my life. Its the day I had a partial hysterectomy. I still have my ovaries and tubes. I am thru menopause. Sex is better then ever, more orgasms, higher sex drive and no more PMS, painful cramps, bloating etc.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Flatlined123
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for the honest answers.

It would be a partial, I'd still have tubes, ovaries and cervix. The scar wouldn't be an issue as I already have one that is vertical due to three c sections.

I can say H said he'd be supportive if that's what I chose. He said it's about me. Our relationship is about us, the sex is a great bonus, but I'm more important.

The sad thing is that the affair did a number on how I think. The comparisons, the mind movies, the feeling of not being good enough.

I'd never let these thoughts stand in the way of my health, but they might make recovery harder mentally.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 677 | Registered: Jun 2012
headdesk
♀ Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) Is sex less pleasurable? Such as less intense orgasms or do you feel likd a "bottomless pit" with no cervix?

I had an open (big cut abdominal, like a c-section scar)full hysterectomy - kept the ovaries, tossed the cervix. Orgasms do feel different but are just as good - better in ways because the uterine contractions would tick it off and it would cramp for hours afterwards.

I was having 2 periods a month. I had to wear the largest pad and tampon they had and change them every hour. Cramps were horrendous - the last month leading up to the surgery I was locking myself up in my bedroom and rocking and moaning through the cramps. When I told my dr I was scaring my kids, he changed my pain management to get me through till surgery.

2) Did it change your sex drive?

No. In fact it upped it because sex was no longer painful.

3) Did it change how you viewed yourself?

I was done with having kids so there were no loss of potential children that I had to mourn. The rest of it didn't change my view of who I am - I look at myself as being that inner soul or whatever you want to call it. The body is just a fancy outfit. Changing my 'clothes' had no impact on my self.

Honestly, for me, it was a fantastic thing. You can try hyster sisters - they have a ton of info and a support board.


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
headdesk
♀ Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) Is sex less pleasurable? Such as less intense orgasms or do you feel likd a "bottomless pit" with no cervix?

I had an open (big cut abdominal, like a c-section scar)full hysterectomy - kept the ovaries, tossed the cervix. Orgasms do feel different but are just as good - better in ways because the uterine contractions would tick it off and it would cramp for hours afterwards.

I was having 2 periods a month. I had to wear the largest pad and tampon they had and change them every hour. Cramps were horrendous - the last month leading up to the surgery I was locking myself up in my bedroom and rocking and moaning through the cramps. When I told my dr I was scaring my kids, he changed my pain management to get me through till surgery.

2) Did it change your sex drive?

No. In fact it upped it because sex was no longer painful.

3) Did it change how you viewed yourself?

I was done with having kids so there were no loss of potential children that I had to mourn. The rest of it didn't change my view of who I am - I look at myself as being that inner soul or whatever you want to call it. The body is just a fancy outfit. Changing my 'clothes' had no impact on my self.

Honestly, for me, it was a fantastic thing. You can try hyster sisters - they have a ton of info and a support board.


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those of you who are having hormone issues: try going to your local vitamin store - a good one - and buy a container of natural progesterone and a container of natural estrogen. Use them together, applying them to a sensitive-skin location on your body like on a breast or the underside of your upper arm…. Use a dab of each to start then adjust as you go: more if needed or less if needed. You will be able to tell. You'll feel so much better using plant derivatives than using manufactured hormones. I went to a female physician after my hysterectomy; she suggested the natural hormones and what a huge difference it made…. I immediately lost half the weight gained from 6 months of taking the manufactured hormones.

My sex drive became stronger. The sex became even better.
And I surely didn't feel 'less' due to the surgery. I would describe it as empowering.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 504 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had my uterus removed, but maintained my ovaries. Within a few weeks after I had a raging sex drive. My husband thought it felt better because my uterus was so big and it was causing problems.

I found a support group similar to SI on the internet for women going to have and had hysterectomies. I am a health care professional, but it was so helpful to get through the pre-op and post-op phases with support from others that had gone through it. It was called hyster sisters. I strongly recommend searching for it and cruising the website. It was free at that time, I have not been on it a few years. But gave the site info to many patients through the years.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1646 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 1993 I had a vaginal hysterectomy. My ovaries were left, dammit. The reason for the hysterectomy was we found out while trying to have a baby that I had such massive fibroids/scarring that implantation was impossible. I lost every one of them at or within a week of the fetus trying to attach to my uterine wall. I was literally bleeding out almost every day of every month. There were a couple of times that I should have gone to the hospital for transfusions.

The day after I had the hyst, was one of the best days of my life. No pain, no bleeding I got up out of bed and spent most of the day on my feet.

Sex became a pleasure again. I had more intense orgasms. When he hit bottom, it was a strange new feeling, but I rather like it. We became like rabbits think HB. And the only change it made in how I viewed myself was that I could screw anytime I wanted to without pain. It's the best health choice I've ever made.

Downsides. I need to use lube unless FWH gets me to O a couple of times before penetration. Maybe about 1/3 of the time. My ovaries WILL NOT DIE! The bastards keep putting out just a bit of estrogen every so often so I have had menopause symptoms since then, yep, for over 20 years, since I was in peri-menopause before my hyst. I have been on and off hormones several times and at present, am off of them. At present, I have heat flushes. I get very hot and radiate heat, but with a fan to blow air over me, I usually get back to normal within 5 minutes. But I can have these cycles several times a day or night.

Still say it was the best health choice I ever made. Beats trying to bleed out every month. Our friend is a coroner and she used to tell me that she had healthier looking corpses in her morgue than I looked at times.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4926 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Sparkle0504
♀ Member
Member # 40379
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, I couldn't word it better than CATransplant. In fact it was a bit of a sexual epiphany...have had so much more fun since...


Me 44 (BS) Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011

The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies
"Sounds harsh, but she's my wife and I'm supposed to be there when she's having sex" Sal1995


Posts: 221 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
Topic Posts: 20

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