Anyway. we can now have real talks. Heated or other wise. She can say things to me that may hurt me. But they won't kill me. And I may say things to her that may make me seem like a bigger ass than I already am, but I'm not afraid to talk to her. And we communicate now. So much of a big difference. For me, it was like a house being lifted of myself. I can talk to my wife honestly. Thank you baby.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:11 PM, January 6th (Monday)]
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My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
Okay, I'm going to go back to trying to not give up for the day....
I recall thinking she was nuts. I had always prided myself on the fact that we didn't fight. But ultimately, it led to a great build-up of frustration and pent up ill will that caused resentment. And clearly, our communication with one another on issues was flawed.
So fight we did. It was a miserable two weeks until we went back. No physical altercations, to be sure, but yelling and anger like neither of us had ever unleashed. Culminated in a huge blow up over the grill, of all things, which malfunctioned and was not the fault of either of us.
On our return to MC, she asked us how it went. We both replied TERRIBLY! And then she taught us how to "fight" - or should I say disagree - productively and respectfully, and to really LISTEN to the other person in the process. That has made so much difference in our relationship, and we still apply those learnings 7 years later.
So good on you and your wife. I hope the positive communications continue!
I'm working on it, but this is a hard one for me.
How did you get to the point where you're able to have these fights?