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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 17
SI Staff
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Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
SuperDuperWonderboy
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Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to the menz thread!


(Fellas fellas fellas...ya know that first spot on the board is mine....sheesh).


Anyway. We is Menz. Be cool and respectful to the mods who let us have this thread. It's cool to bitch about stuff, but we try to avoid too many generalizations, even though the womenz can't post in here, they do sometimes read in here...so let's not be overly rude.


Anyway. Here are some damn gifs. Bitches.


The obligatory cat gif:

[This message edited by SuperDuperWonderboy at 7:34 PM, January 6th (Monday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Ascendant
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Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beat me. If I got first, I was gonna troll so hard.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1586 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Brandon808
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Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dang it


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3364 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
SuperDuperWonderboy
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Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Too sloooooww! You can bring the clock though.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Justgreatnews
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Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would you guys believe me if...

I could be wrong. Hopeful? Paranoid?

[This message edited by Justgreatnews at 9:28 PM, January 6th (Monday)]


Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Ascendant
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Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well... I'm normally of the opinion that inviting a third person into the relationship is a bad idea...but you seemed to indicate that you guys have done it before... So...I don't know what to say.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1586 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
mike7
♂ Member
Member # 38603
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SDWB - you're awesome. lol


BH 53
WW 52
Two kids 21, 18

DDay 1/15/2013


Posts: 261 | Registered: Mar 2013
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justgreat,

Not sure anyone here who is monogamous is qualified to answer that for you. But I'll try . Do you think you can handle it? If your wife is offering this up out of guilt, do you think she will resent it? I can ask a ton more hypotheticals, but the asking them should be you to yourself. I'd examine a lot of theoretical outcomes before saying yes. Not saying that the answer isn't yes, just saying.

WB - cool gif's mate! Love the Belushi. I've got the "I gave my love a cherry, that had no stone" song in mind. Animal House is classic. Not sure about the John Boy dancing gif though...maybe the Womenz thread can borrow it. A bit too Richard Simmons for me.

Mr. Kite - close enough! Old Aboriginal saying. They always have camp dogs, and the coldest nights in the desert were referred to three dog nights. Not sure about any sleeping in holes, most of the time they sleep in dry riverbeds.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3298 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sal1995
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Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would you guys believe me if I told you I think my wife is planning a three-way as a reward/consolation/makeup/back to normal/ distraction?

If that's her idea of a "make up" for betraying your vows, she sounds like an unhealthy partner. I mean, that's great as a fantasy and all, but in reality she really wants to bring another person into the relationship? Also, how will that make up for her lies, deceit, and sexual/emotional betrayal of you? Doesn't change that at all. The only thing that will change is that she will add yet another sexual partner to your marriage, and you'll no longer be exclusive to her.

Have you tried to set up MC/IC?

ETA: justgreat, I missed that part of your post that indicated that you and your wife have done this before. If so, then you're in a better position than I to evaulate the risk/rewards. Disregard.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 9:05 PM, January 6th (Monday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Mr. Kite
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Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mr. Kite - close enough! Old Aboriginal saying. They always have camp dogs, and the coldest nights in the desert were referred to three dog nights. Not sure about any sleeping in holes, most of the time they sleep in dry riverbeds.

Close but no cigar for me. Story of my life.

Justgreatnews - a few weeks after D-day1 WW offered up her best friend in California, 3,000 miles away. Thanks for nothing. Wouldn't have gone through with it even if she lived next door. I knew what she was up to - trying to transfer guilt so she could say "You're just as bad as I am."


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
h0peless
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Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's about time we started a thread with "Double Dream Hands".

Posts: 1316 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
ontheslope
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Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If that is back to normal, I don't want to know what abnormal looked like.

I didn't quite get that offer, but was just about given a free pass to have an affair of my own. 'She wouldn't blame me if I did' sort of thing.

A lot of us on here have had those revenge thoughts anyway, but it always comes down to this: I could probably hide the fact that I had an affair from everyone.....

....but myself.

Bugger that. A crazy night with a sweet young thing would be a treat, if it wasn't that I would have to betray myself in order to do it.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
Sal1995
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Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of us on here have had those revenge thoughts anyway, but it always comes down to this: I could probably hide the fact that I had an affair from everyone.....

....but myself.

Bugger that. A crazy night with a sweet young thing would be a treat, if it wasn't that I would have to betray myself in order to do it.

Second that, slope. A conscience is a SOB isn't it? That is what has kept me in line through nearly 18 years of marriage. It's sad that my wife wasn't similarly restrained, but we have no control over the actions of others.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Justgreatnews
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Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Umm. I decided to edit out that post I made earlier. Not appropriate, and I apologize. Was at the end of the cocktail hour, I guess.

At any rate, I'll let your know. We just have a very close friend....My mind is hard to control, jump to conclusions.

[This message edited by Justgreatnews at 9:33 PM, January 6th (Monday)]


Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
h0peless
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Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remember that actions have consequences. As great of an idea as it might seem at the time, chances are it will blow up in your face later.

Posts: 1316 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
64fleet
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Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

man, they really all do follow a script-soon after dday mine offered up a bisexual friend, it never happened and she would be appalled if I brought it up now...


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Montreal
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Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A script indeed. My wife also offered up both a threesome AND encouraged me to go out and fuck somebody, just so I "would see that it's not so bad." They really are different people when they are in that post D-Day fog.

The sad(?) thing is I actually could have had my revenge affair, about two weeks after D-Day. I created my own Ashley Madison account to try and catch my wife, who had said she had deleted those accounts, but whom I didn't really believe. Started chatting ignognito with a girl who I thought was my wife (it wasn't) and after a little back and forth was offered up the no-strings hotel fling "on a monthly" basis. As my man card slowly burned in the fireplace behind me I declined and actually tried to talk her out of her continued presence on AM. It was kind of pathetic, but I stuck to my morals at least.

I read a very good book when I was much younger, and I can honestly say it's one of those books that changed my life. "The Daughter of Time", by Josephine Tey. The story itself is kind of simple, but the moral of it, for those who get it, is that history is written by the victors, and more importantly, with an agenda. Extrapolated to larger life I realized that WHY people were saying or doing things is a lot more important to understand than the actions themselves. WHY is your wife offering up a threesome? For your benefit? For hers? Because it's fun? Or because it's a way to relieve her guilt? To make you even? To alleviate the need for her to do any work? What is her agenda? What does SHE get out of it? If it works for you, if you truly believe this is your way out of betrayed spouse's hell, then go for it. But I think it's her way out of wayward wife hell, and once she's out she won't feel the need to help you any further. After all she "gave you the threesome/revenge affair, what more do you need??"

Just my take.


DDay: July 6, 2013
"not divorcing"

Posts: 50 | Registered: Sep 2013
5454real
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Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JustGreat, No worries bro. Threesome? Since it was part of your repertoire before, I don't see a huge issue with it, *unless*, she's using it as a *reward* or a *this makes us even* tool. IMHO, you probably should be focused on yourself and, if so inclined, the marriage.
Yep, mine offered a *freebie* also. I was actually insulted. I guess I just don't think that way. Fantasized? Oh hell yes.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2063 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Sal1995
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Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As my man card slowly burned in the fireplace behind me I declined and actually tried to talk her out of her continued presence on AM. It was kind of pathetic, but I stuck to my morals at least.

I think you're confusing a male card with a man card, Montreal. You've probably never been more of a man in your life than at that moment. Sticking to your morals is the tough choice. If it wasn't, everyone would do it and there wouldn't be 40,000 plus members on SI. Well played, sir.

Yep, mine offered a *freebie* also. I was actually insulted. I guess I just don't think that way. Fantasized? Oh hell yes.

I never got that offer, she's never even hinted at it.

As for fantasies, I have my share of them, including the XX variety. The problem is when the line is blurred between fantasy and reality, as it obviously was for our wives. Fantasies don't work so well in the real world, which isn't a Skinimax movie.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 9:50 AM, January 7th (Tuesday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
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