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Newest Member: brokenmess (44282)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this it?
Reality
♀ Member
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, Dare. Your straight talk this morning and afternoon are helping a lot.

If you read previous posts from both of us, this issue is the issue.

His anger and inability to see what's going on outside his own feelings and reactions is devastating for everyone around him.

The very worst part, as you said, is the effect on the kids.

It was extremely painful to hear my youngest daughter ask me as she cried, "Why doesn't he love us?" Then, this morning, to have my oldest two kids tell me how relieved they were to wake up in a house he wasn't in. That they loved him, but couldn't stand seeing that anger anymore. That when he was "him" they loved him so much, but when he was consumed with anger, they couldn't take being around him anymore.

He really does think we're all against him. That his intentions and perceptions trump everything else, no matter what.

[This message edited by Reality at 5:30 PM, January 8th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
lemony.2008
♀ Member
Member # 20125
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm stopping. I'm explaining again. I can't help with this. I can't buffer it and help him see there's not some mass conspiracy against him.

Excellent!

His anger and inability to see what's going on outside his own feelings and reactions is devastating for everyone around him.

Again, he has to want to see that. And may be he's also just not ready to see that.

You're totally powerless (which I'm sure you already knew) in making him see that.

My heart breaks when I read about your children. The best and the only thing you can do is to get yourself healthy so you can help them. You can't give them what you don't have.

Try to let him go for now, and come back to yourself and your children. He'll be okay.


Feel the feelings and drop the story. - Pema Chodron


Posts: 2243 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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