Topic: Your experience quitting IC?
Member # 38375
| Posted: 2:07 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014|
I'm considering at least taking some time off from IC - mainly because I've been bringing my baby with me and he's now at the point where he's no longer a sleeping infant in my arms and he wants to walk around and screams if I don't let him. So as you can imagine, I'm not getting a lot out of it! For now, I have no childcare options. My only hesitations is that my IC is the only person besides WH I have to talk about the A, and I am hitting the pinnacle of A season here and it's been really hard. I would keep doing MC every other week. But I worry that I'd fall apart if I stop my weekly IC.
How have the rest of you fared that stopped IC, or had to take an extended break from it? Did it have a big impact on healing and reconciling?
D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath
Posts: 341 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 40166
| Posted: 2:11 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014|
I think you need to find a way to keep going. Talk to your FWS, let him help figure out a way. Nights? Weekends? Put a call out for a sitter, on FB maybe (you don't have to say what for)? A family friend?
I think you sound like you are not at all in a good place to be quitting MC. I really think letting your H help you find a solution could be both healing and helpful. Don't stop going.
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
Posts: 897 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 30817
| Posted: 2:13 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014|
If there were only two options, I would go to IC instead of MC. Your spouse can keep the baby while you are there.
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Posts: 6353 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 33867
| Posted: 2:20 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014|
Is it possible for you to have a phone or Skype session with you therapist, possible when your son is napping?
Here is a article from Psychology.com on the subject...
One day I was unable to make my IC session so she phoned me. The conversation felt no different then the ones I had sitting in her office.
ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Posts: 2109 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 31240
| Posted: 4:34 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014|
I've ended IC only when I've accomplished my goals, when I refuse to change in the area that has come up, or when the therapist or I have moved to a new city.
It sounds like you want to accomplish more and need support, so I, too, think you should do your best to find a sitter.
The sessions will probably be more effective without your child - after all, infants call for a lot of attention.
fBH (me) - 70, fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.
Posts: 9947 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 21183
| Posted: 12:38 AM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014|
I hope you can work out the sitter - SO you can continue your IC.
It's hard to say how: But you will "KNOW" when it's time to stop seeing your IC...and the time to stop should not be dictated by child-care-issues.
Talk to your IC -Maybe something can be worked out through the IC's office.
Also - check with your local churches; many of them have "Mom's Day Out" services.
Me BS 59
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.
Posts: 6113 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
|Topic Posts: 6|