So this is why I'm really irritated today. He just emailed me at work and said, "So are we 100% done? I am at the travel agent and need to know. The boats fill up fast and I want to take (daughter) on the Disney Cruise this summer." I swear to God I HATE this man. This is what he does, Narcissistic POS, he knows I don't want to miss anything with my kids and lures me in with shit like this.
Oh and just for shits and giggles, here is a list of the cheating evidence that he denies:
1. Been secretly talking to OW for three years
2. I found EXPLICIT photos of her on my laptop two years ago
3. They talk for hours and text off of the hook
4. I found a concert ticket hidden in his closet purchased by her, that he went out of town for the night to see (with buddies from work of course)
5. He has secret accounts for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Ashley Madison, and Match (who knows what else.)
6. Twitter messages from Whore stating she was at another concert with him
7. maternity photos on her FB, with him. It's their silhouette, but we have been together for 13 years, I know what his body looks like in the dark.
8. Her FB has a pic of their converse and he commented "Mine look better" (he denies they're his shoes, he says he was just saying he has better chucks, HA!)
9. He went out of town 2 years ago, the night I packed up all of our shit and left, and lied about who he was with and where he stayed (like a different town altogether. And yes, I took his ass back)
10. A new maternity pic of their feet, in converse, with pink converse in between. And guess what, it's our wedding photographer!
11. A bday card to him from her, stating he's the best boyfriend ever, blah blah blah. I skipped to the bottom and it said: Love, WHore and baby's name (and by the way, the baby's name is not common at all, no possible way could I guess at it. Well, I found on twitter that it is in fact the baby's name. Oh, and he wrestled me to the ground to rip the card out of my hand when I found it!)
12. he took my daughter on a date with whore when I was at home with our two week old son.
13. My daughter tells me when whore is at the house
14. He took MY kids to Whore's best friends family thanksgiving dinner, and yes he denies that
15. I read all the texts between him and one of the girls he met on match. She and I are now friends. She had no clue and luckily I contacted her before they did anything. He seriously sounded like a serial killer in the texts, I'm talking EVERYTHING a girl wants to hear.
16. He says he's working overtime, but on the few occasions I felt he was lying I drove by his work and his truck was NOT there.
17. Went to Baseball games with her, I know because the pics of the vehicle they drove in for the tailgater happen to be the same, not so common, vehicle as her gay guy friend.
18. There have been a ton of other "coincidences" throughout our 13 years.
19. He cheated in high school
20. I filed a restraining order and he told me that they were going to fire him, even showed me a text from his boss. Of course my mom called the company, they said, "A restraining order would have absolutely no affect on their job. The only way a restraining order would become an issue is if both parties worked for the company, and even then, we would just put them on different shifts.
****** And the #1 pièce de résistance
21. They are registered together for their baby at three different stores and an online baby registry site. He denies it and says that when he got her a gift it must have been a mistake the stores made. HAHAHAHA this guy is a fucking joke!!!!
And yes, there's more........
You deserve better than this. He is baiting you with that cruise. I know you don't want to miss out on anything, but at some point you need to say enough is enough. I thought I would put up with anything to avoid losing any time with my children, but I am now seeing that I am so much happier and healthier without wh in my life.
I would NOT give him any more insight into your Proof of HIS infidelity. Let your attorney do that.
Not making a decision to move one way or the other, is still a decision. Doesn't mean you need to use your proof to convince him he's cheating, you don't need him to validate your truth.
You KNOW the truth, say it a few more times. Say it everytime he tries to tell you differently! He won't validate what YOU know to be true, doing that opens up a can of worms he can't afford to let loose.
You KNOW the truth....
What a delusional ass.
"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
I am in the same place where I have agreed to R but am really realizing it is impossible, only 6 weeks in. I feel obligated to keep trying. I feel like I have to find one last, solid fact that he has lied about to justify myself. But as my therapist pointed out - and as we all know, deep down, beneath our self-imposed sense of duty to these buttheads- we DON'T need a final "deal-breaker". Their A(s) are the reason. Saying we will try to reconcile doesn't mean we have to sell ourselves short. Because life's too short.
We are done.
Question: are ya'll still living together? If so, he needs ta GO! His sorry ass can go live with his pregnant girlfriend! You don't need this crap and deserve way better than this...how could you even "date" again if you will only be "starting over" on a layer of lies!? He hasn't been truthful of the A, done any work involved in becoming a healthier person if its not acknowledged!
You can do better...and don't feel guilty at all. He's manipulating you and being hurtful with the cruise thing. You and your daughter will have your own time to enjoy things like this and he can sit back and wonder what he's missing out on.
I am so sorry.
he needs ta GO! His sorry ass can go live with his pregnant girlfriend!
Too him?? Does he deny it. He can't keep something like that hidden forever. When is the whore due?
You should file for CS pronto.
He wants YOU to say that the M is 100% done so then he can say it was you that ended it and not him.
And no he has never admitted to it being his baby. In fact, he says he has never cheated, EVER, and since he lost his virginity to me I am the only girl he has ever had sex with. YA RIGHT!!! She was due December 26th but I haven't been able to find anything out, not even on her FB, twitter, or Instagram. I'm sure she is hiding as much as she can. What's funny, well not at all actually, is how the fuck did I get HPV if I have not had sex with anyone but him in 14 years?!?!?! He says he doesn't know how I got it and that he had himself tested and doesn't have it. I highly doubt he even went to the doctor. I have said I'm 100% done several times but he lures me back and uses the kids leverage. This time, no way! I pray that I can stick to my guns.
It is what it is.
I have been there...started having weird issues, and went for a pap. never had an abnormal pap in my whole life. was only with 2 other people before EX and we were married 12 years. I had cancerous cells removed from my cervix last year due to HPV (which has since run its course) and just recently was hospitalized for the most excruciating pains I have ever known in my abdomen. Literally, my boyfriend left work to come rush me to the ER because I was at a point of not being able to get myself up off the floor of my kitchen. Come to find out, all the mess caused from the HPV led to me having PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) and the pain I was having was a severe flare up. This explained the increasingly more frequent random pains I have had for over 2 years now! Well I have had 3 separate doctors do STD workups and all three have said, even though HPV can lay dormant for a while before you know its there, the likelihood of it NOT coming from his cheating was slim to none. They all said if it was from a previous partner I would have had issues much sooner. EX also says he and OW were "clean" so it couldn't have been from him. Well, guess what jackass, you wouldn't show it on regular std screening and she very well could have had it and passed it to me. It may have just not shown up for her or run its course with no issues like many women.
Please don't believe his crap. You know you didn't just get it from out of nowhere...he just can't handle the guilt of believing he may have really done damage to you. That's how my EX is. He needs to live in his little fairy land and cling to whatever he can to assure it wasn't his fault. meanwhile, I will deal with PID for the rest of my life. hoping I never have a flare up as badly as I did most recently. take care of yourself...keep a close eye on any abnormal feelings with your body and get checked often.
You need to file temporary orders like yesterday for child support. If she files something first for child support then that baby will always come before your kids. You need to file something quick even if it's just a garnishment order through the state.
THEN, after my WH "confessed" but took the A underground, it happened again. So I thought there must be something wrong with me (bad pH or something like that). Come to find out, he was still F*cking her and he reinfected me -- after I had the full STD panel run.
Sorry TMI and a bit of a t/j - but I feel ya sister!
Serve him papers. Don't consider his feelings in this. He clearly hasn't considered yours. You have the proof.
I am so sorry
I told him that I have never felt like the right woman for him because (since he's a gaslighting master manipulator) he has always told me that I'm boring, no fun, grouchy, pessimistic, etc... I said the as much as I HATE whore, that they have the same likes and hobbies and would make a better couple so he should just go be with her. LOL! He responded with "Goodbye" Ya exactly, GOODBYE ASSHOLE! If only he'd stick to it. He'll be texting by the end of the day, mark my words. I can't wait for all of this shit to be behind me.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
He was texting me this morning saying that he will find a way to earn my trust and love back and that he never cheated and loves me and misses me and blah blah blah. He says I've just always been pessimistic about everything in life and refuse to see the good he has been doing and the changes he's trying to make.