Topic: Been awhile...DS passed away
Member # 16024
| Posted: 4:03 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014|
I am so sorry for the loss of your DS.
Take up your space (and do it well).
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
Posts: 36526 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 34697
| Posted: 4:17 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014|
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
Posts: 4539 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 25643
| Posted: 6:26 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014|
I'm so very sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Sep 2009
Member # 39891
| Posted: 7:22 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014|
Oh I am sorry to hear about Nate's passing. My heart aches for your family. Life can be so cruel and there is simply no understanding the Whys. But you got to spend his short life loving and he left knowing your love.
I hope you will find a grief counseling place for the family. I think its important for kids to be around other kids. It helps them identify and share what they are feeling. When my daughter passed we attended Bo's Place. I remember having a hard time googling it. I hope you find something similar. It is a nonprofit with corporate sponsorships. Families also donate what they can. They do not accept insurance. I cannot express enough good things. It allows everyone to express their loss around others that are going thru the same thing.
I can't give advice about the divorce because of you H's affair. I do think you are suffering from the trauma and I would focus and the grief and trauma. I think it would be okay if each of you took the on weekend getaways by yourself. It will allow time for both of you to bond with them individually and they need that. Your family has been shaken to the core and Nate's loss is going take time to recover. You might find strength as a family unit for the a while. If it works do it. If not, I dont think faking it for the sake of the kids would be helpful. Rugsweeping is not helpful in grief or betrayal.
I am so very sorry. I know that physical hurt. I wish I could releave some of it from you. Please know that we at SI share n your grief.
Posts: 91 | Registered: Jul 2013
|mom of 2|
Member # 11214
| Posted: 8:20 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014|
My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved son.
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.
Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)
Posts: 13286 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: The suburbs of hell
Member # 12041
| Posted: 8:23 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014|
I am so sorry
We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.... Anais Nin
Posts: 43905 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 36445
| Posted: 4:45 AM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014|
I am so sorry for your loss of your son Nate. I am sure it has been a very difficult time for you and your living children.
Please take one day at a time, whilst time will help you heal, you need to look after yourself and I know how hard that can be. I too have lost a child. And I know some people will expect you to be 'over it' by now. Please know grief takes as long as it takes and no one can minimise this for you and you can only move on when you are ready too.
I know you are worried about your children and the possible effects of a divorce on them, but they need you to be happy and healthy too. Please do whatever you need to do for you.
Maybe some IC will help ?
Hugs to you and your family.
"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.
Posts: 1280 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 31468
| Posted: 7:34 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014|
I am so very sorry for your loss, you and your family have had an incredible amount to deal with. May Nate's memory and knowing he is now at peace bring you all strength and peace.
As others have said, please be kind to yourself and take the time you need to heal from such a traumatic loss before dealing with the A.
I also hope you will consider some sort of grief counseling, monarchwings had excellent advice and has a reference for what you are dealing with.
SI is always here for you, and I just wish that we could do more for you. ((Hugs))
Together 9 yrs
Status: Divorced 4/27/11
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Posts: 4369 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 32785
| Posted: 1:51 AM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014|
I have no words other then a very inadequate I'm so sorry for what you, your son and family have, and are, suffering.
Posts: 462 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
Member # 34533
| Posted: 3:07 AM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014|
There are no words that can make the pain go away.
I am so sorry mom. Hugs to you and your family.
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen
Posts: 654 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Member # 37658
| Posted: 9:46 PM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014|
his A was in 2001, DDay confession 9/5/2012
Posts: 99 | Registered: Nov 2012
|Topic Posts: 51|