Sending you strength and comfort, honey.
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in." -Cohen
Are you a list-maker? I am. In fact, I've been known to make lists of my lists. When I've been faced with situations like yours (I'm in one now, in fact), I make a in/out control list. One one side of the paper I write what I am in control of, and on the other I write what I am not in control of. I do it quickly, kind of like freewriting and without dwelling on any one thing.
Then I wait a little while before I go down each side and contemplate each thing.
"Take on new debt for SUV" -- does it really belong on this side? Or does it belong on the other? Sometimes things get moved.
"He's giving her things I never got" -- is he really giving them to her, or is he just handing over scraps which still require absolutely no effort on his part?
All the way down the list. Have a glass of wine or good chocolate at this point and remember you're reading a list, not once again re-living things the way you were when you WROTE the list.
I think you'll be surprised what you can free yourself from by doing this.
Hang in there.
I too am having rage..then instantly depression. Last spring I saw my ex in MY truck, still titled in my name mind you, with some woman in passenger seat. I think this is the one he started up with while we were doing in house S. Took all my willpower not to slam my little red jeep into MY big black Hemi Dodge. Some things are just so insulting to our internal justice...It's no wonder we feel rage and anger.
It is what it is.
[This message edited by StillLivin at 1:24 PM, January 10th (Friday)]
Why am I so mad????
Because he's a self-entitled a**hat that didn't deserve the time and effort you expended and he doesn't come with a money (and time) back guarantee?
Oh you are going to come out way ahead here, rest assured. Now that you are free of the spend thrift, canít go without, pain in the ass, your financial prudence is going to pay off in spades. He's still going to be a selfish idiot and can no longer rely on your wisdom and sacrifices to keep him afloat.
[This message edited by StillLivin at 1:49 PM, January 10th (Friday)]