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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: edit deed - partition deed anyone know?
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi.
i'm exploring this option and have an appointment to meet with an attorney

BUT

in the meantime, i was wondering if i would be able to get perhaps more info from anyone here about this special real estate legal animal!

My question is below....

first....

Basics: Cohabitating Couple, 14 years. Own house 6 years jointly, joint tenants in common, mortage also joint.

Truth: i paid probably 85% of monies into house and I would LIKE that to be reflected in any profit upon sale. SOB has used me, stolen from me (literally) and more.

I don't even care if it costs me as much as it keeps from him. I am not a adversarial person, but in this case, he's used me so very much and atrociously (QUITE) I feel I have to do it (if possible) for the sake of self-empowerment.

In any case, quick phone call with attorney said it can be complex ranging from $3,000 to ???.

WHY?
What is involved?
I have the records to prove that I have paid XXXXXXXX whereas he has paid X. What else do they consider? That he mowed the lawn? That he did the dishes? Seriously, why would a partition edit deed be so complex and expensive.

THANKS. consult with 2 attorney's next week and I'm trying to prepare. information would be helpful and I realize I cannot take anything you say as legal counsel!!! UGH please help. THANK YOU


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know $3000 sounds like alot, but a deed of partition involves court time and a judge. The records you have to prove what you paid all need to be reviewed by the attorney and he will spend time drafting the documents for the judge. You have to pay for the court filing fees and his time in court. You have to pay for your STBX to be served all the documents.

You're asking the court to change an already legally binding document which is the original agreement you signed to buy the property as joint tenants, making each of you equal half owners.

I'm all for sticking it to your ex, but understand that you have to pay the hit man.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks for explaining that... sigh sigh sigh

attorney said STARTING at $3000, how high could it GO? and WHY? I will not have a million pages of numbers unless they consider intangibles; if it's "Just the facts" i have them!!!!

Would it drag out? and WHY? I have ZERO experience with courts and ZERO adversarial friends.

AND..

Whatever profit might accrue to him in house sale, well i'd actually rather have it go to an attorney than him. Seriously.

Because he's a thief. And I'll be dammed if he's doing to profit from his use/abuse of me, more than he already has.

I've struggled with just walking away, wishing him well, all in the best of religious traditions, but then he'll get a nice check. So he can just walk with a bounce in his step with his check. All for my slave labor, essentially.

Anyway, I a too nice, too forgiving, too understanding, flexible, etc etc sweet generous kind person (except when I'm furious, in which case I can be scarey!) and he's taken horrible advantage of me.

anyone else with court stories or warnings or anything please share lessons if you are able. I have no clue what i'm really getting into and i'm scared. TY TY TY TY


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing sends fees sky high like litigation. The substantive law of anything property-related sends me into a cold sweat, so I'm not going to comment on that. However, should your xso dispute your version of the facts, that takes up even more attorney time for preparation, review, briefing if necessary, negotiating/arguing with the other attorney (if there is one), appearances etc. Essentially, if a fact dispute is introduced into a complex area of law, you're paying for the extra attorney time. There are so many variables, it can be hard to even estimate the worst case.

Once you've selected an attorney, good communication is essential. Also keep your eye on the prize. In a contentious, emotionally charged matter, it can be easy to want to spend more in legal fees than you stand to gain from a favorable outcome in the litigation just so you can stick it to them. Don't be that guy.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He cannot afford an attorney.
I'm thinking this will help me?

How could the "facts" be disputed if bank records show money paid by me to mortgage, utilities, etc.
What OTHER facts could come into play?

I "get" that facts can be disputed. Can he claim that he paid me cash?

The cold sweat you mention also scares me.

I do not want to be the person who destroys herself to destroy him.

I just feel, rather rationally, that he does not deserve any of the profit, or very very little, since he did not pay and has been living off the sweat of my back. He's a con man and he's played me like a fiddle.

It's really about sticking up for my rights and not to let him CONTINUE to use/abuse me.

And i hear ya. Gotta know limits.


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

also does Character come into it at all??

or is all that inadmissible.

like will the judge care if he

1. didn't pay the IRS
2. had a drunk in public
3. has numerous speeding and driving without tags tickets
4. declared bankruptcy, has had bad credit for most of life

reason i'm asking is the consultation with attorney goes REALLY quickly and I'm trying to get my LIST of questions very tight

and trying to understand as much as possible so when attorney answers my questions, i actually might understand.

TYTYTYYTY


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't let the cold sweat scare you! That is totally my bar exam hang up. I hated property law with the fire of a thousand suns. That and commercial paper.

The thing about brief chats with attorneys is that most people who call one up are certain they are right, that they will win. It is great that you have records. However, the attorney, after a brief chat, has to be conservative. He/she has no idea what your xso's case looks like, whether yours is as good as it sounds, so that's why you were presented with a range. Many people who call attorneys don't give the full story in the first conversation. I'm not suggesting you did not, but it is something you get used to. How high it could go, or possible arguments xso could make are issues best discussed with your attorney.

Edit: I wouldn't count on the character evidence being allowed.

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 10:46 PM, January 9th (Thursday)]


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, January 9th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very interesting. Thank you.

If for nothing else, monies spent on an attorney and the process could be very educational.

I've never regretted any of my paid education, even when it didn't result in tangible career gains. I value education for it's own sake.

Your note helped me to get cracking on my own "discovery" so that I am not fooling myself at all......EXCELLENT comment about attorney knowing that only one side is coming in on a consult. Helpful!!!! Thank you.

Fear...that I won't understand much of consult. Wish I could record so I can review later. You know what it's like when you're nervous and trying to understand A LOT of new info. Mind can get scrambled. As the 10th of an hour clicks away. Frightening!


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You can lead a narcissist to evidence, but you can't stop him from dismissing it."


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're probably looking at a pyrrhic victory. Wouldn't the money be better spent on YOURSELF? Launching yourself into a new life without him? I don't want to see you totally lose your head in your desire for revenge/vengeance.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9248 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 1:03 AM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks naturegirI !

I'm not going to lose my head.

I'm going to investigate my rights, and then rationally decide what is best course of action.

I heed your warning. The money will never be mine. It will either go to an attorney or to STBX.

I cant win. but i might (?) Be able to stop him from taking more.


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Cookie7088
♀ Member
Member # 30038
Default  Posted: 7:18 AM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't even care if it costs me as much as it keeps from him. I am not a adversarial person, but in this case, he's used me so very much and atrociously (QUITE) I feel I have to do it (if possible) for the sake of self-empowerment.

Some sound advice to you, unload the house, split the profit, and run like hell. You will save yourself $3000 (even consider it part of the profit.), and a lot of frustration.

This isn't an over-night process, court dates, document-gathing, appraisals, etc...

Why put yourself through this --

He used you, cut your losses, and use it as a learning experience. The faster you cut ties with him, the quicker the healing process begins.

As much as good revenge sounds, it isn't as good as your freedom, and getting away from this asshole!


Posts: 636 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: U.S.
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmmmmmmm. If I start the process, maybe he wont want to deal with it, can't afford attorney....

Maybe if my attorney show. s him the numbers and the case against him, maybe he will agree to a mediation based on the numbers.

And if this process involves documents gathering, and he doesnt have an attorney to do that, maybe he'll throw up his hands and throw in the towel.

Maybe this is a fantasy! But maybe legal pressure will make him give up. And maybe then I can run like hell.


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
sparklezombie
♀ Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lawsuit will cost more money if he contests and racks up the bill. See if your atty can draft a settlement agreement to propose to him. If he doesn't want to get sued and he signs it, then that should cost WAY less than $3k. If he doesn't, then at least you tried.


BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tytytytytty

settlement proposal sounds good!!!!!!!!

What happens if he gets sued and cannot afford an attorney and had no idea how to defend himself?

Seriously, could it become my responsibility to do his discovery?

Or if he has lack of evidence to contest, would that mean that the judge will be more likely to rule in my favor?

I understand there are variables. But basic: no attorney, no defense.

Please excuse my bolds. I am obviously a bit passionate about this subject!!! It's not even revenge! It's actually justice. I'm not trying to take from him, but to protect what's rightfully mine.


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
Topic Posts: 15

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