Thanks guys, thought I would check in. She contacted me on the 18th, and poured her heart and soul out. She wanted to talk to me, in person. Said I deserved answers, and she wanted to give them to me. So I let her.
She told me she was addicted to power. Like a drug. She was living in a bubble only she was allowed in, and didn't think through any of her actions. She broke everything. Her job, her work relationships, and her marriage. She said she would like to go to independent counseling, and marriage counseling eventually, if I was open to it. She has her second IC session tomorrow. I have been letting her stay in the guest room for the past two weeks. She says she hasn't been loving me the way I deserved for a while, and hasn't been loving herself. She doesn't feel she deserves love yet. And I agree with that.
We've been civil, and have had moments where we've laughed a lot together. However, the other man's wife contacted me this morning. Told me that my wife had reached out to her husband on the 17th, the day before she contacted me.
Said she wanted to talk to him for a couple minutes. He said no, that he had made promises to his wife to never speak to her again, and that he was working on his 15 year marriage, and was going to do anything she said to make it work. My wife said something to the effect "I can't believe you think so little of me that you won't give me two minutes". To which he replied it wasn't that, he had just made a promise to his wife, and him even responding to her now was breaking that promise. To please never contact him again. So my wife responded with he was a liar and deceitful, and she was "out".
My wife has been making huge progress. Going to therapy, gave me the passwords to all her accounts, and has been very open about everything. She turned in her resignation at work, and her last day will be the 14th. But now, this falls into my lap. But this time, it doesn't even hurt. I have been made to feel like I am the 2nd place prize. But it I am not crushed. I am just thinking of how to proceed, and how I approach her with this information tonight.
At this very moment, if I never saw her again, I would be OK with it. I am curious as to how she's going to react when I tell her this when I get home from work though.