Also, many behaviors are learned. If your parents behaved or reacted to events a certain way chances are you will behave/react in a similar manner. If you pinpoint certain undesirable behaviors, learn of their origins, and then discover better behavior to replace them you can sort of reprogram your brain. It's a process and expect mistakes.
Over the last almost 12 years, I could never do enough to prove that I loved him. Never. No matter what I did. The nicer I was, the more he thought I was up to something. until I said that sentence.
Rock bottom has a tendency to show you who actually cares, from who is only there for themselves. Because the ones who care hit it with you.
That being said, in my experience the searching for my why's and examining my FOO issues set up a 'habit' of introspection which forces me to face my deficiencies as a human being.
Facing these deficiencies and realising I was a pretty poor excuse for a human being, motivated me to change my thinking patterns and to bolster my integrity.
Once you've got the 'habit' the introspection continues, because nobody's perfect.
Hope that helped.
There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
I don't think it's any one thing that caused it. So many things went into his decision...