There are just too many possibilities for hilarity in this story.
This is not Stretch's weekend. Last weekend (holiday time) was not his weekend either. I have agreed to (in the past) the boys going with their dad to dinner or for an ice cream or bowling after work. This last came up last summer. He asked, I agreed, it never happened.
Last weekend, Stretch thought it was his weekend, but it was "holiday" time. Anyway, he asked if he could take them to dinner one night this weekend if they didn't have plans. DS9 really wants to, DS12 is apathetic, but will probably go if they go somewhere he likes to eat.
DS9 called his dad just now to confirm dinner. They are on speaker phone talking about where to go. DS9 says he wishes it was just him and that DS12 would stay home. I don't think that is particularly funny but Stretch laughs loudly and says chuckling, "I really want to see both my sons." And I don't know what brain path he wandered down but THEN HE SAYS...
Your mom can come too, if she wants.
DS had gotten distracted, and so he said, "Who?"
(thanks son. That didn't need to be repeated...)
Stretch says again, "Your mom can come too, if she wants."
DS turns to me. MOM?
Me: No, baby, I am going to take a pain pill and rest right here. (and type this up and laugh hysterically with my SI peeps while y'all go and eat dinner)
DS repeats into the phone "Soooo, Mom does NOT want to go." Emphatic. Very clear. Not surprised. (was there an edge of I can't believe dad is a dumbass and even asked? I can't say for sure. The voices in my head were to busy going Whaaaaaaaah?
)
So ..... if I HAD gone.
Who would pay?
Stretch: So you gonna get this? That's what child support is for...... (oh, wait.
or
Stretch: (to the waiter) One check. (So, is this a date then?)
Dinner conversation
Stretch: Remember when we used to do this when we were a happy family and I had a girlfriend?
or
Stretch: So I didn't see you in court this week. Whats up with that?
or
Stretch: Sorry I owe you so much money... How's that $1.99 taco I am planning on charging to OW? Kinda makes things even, right?
Delusional much, Stretch? If mom wants to go to dinner....
Do you think OW knows????
That man has no idea what goes on in my head or he would NOT invite me anywhere near his food.