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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Got the nasty-gram from his L......
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

....because I "refused" him his Monday night. Of course it is chockful of stbx's twisted-up-perception mutterings.

I am so tired of dealing with this moronic bullshit he pulls.....and I can't *talk* to stbx about any issues because of his inability to *hear* what I'm saying. Anytime I bring up a kid-related concern, his response is "I'm a good father, stop insinuating that I'm a bad dad, blahblah, what about when *you* <insert *whatever*>?....." He assumes, insinuates, insults, and plays victim instead of having a productive conversation.

I only have to deal with this placement insanity for 4 more years. My hat is SO off to those of you with littles!


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wasted his money on that nasty gram, didn't he?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he get his money's worth?.

I think so... We are all enjoying the ridiculousness?


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3555 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He totally wasted *our* money on this bullshit.
If stbx spent as much time trying to wrap up this D shit as he does running around doing shit that is going to make it take LONGER.....I would have been D'd a freakin' year ago.

We wrote in our placement agreement, at my suggestion, that we are each allotted 10 days of vacation time. The vast majority of the holidays are set as a *whoever* has them *that* day gets them. The only thing that *trumps* vacation time is holiday days or if one of us has informed the other of a special event (tickets to something or a planned trip, etc.).

I utilized 2 of my unused vacation days to take them to a pro football game over their Christmas break. In a nutshell, I *took* one of his weekends with them. Anyway. He's apparently acting like it's a big deal that he didn't *fight* me about taking them that weekend.

READ THE FUCKING AGREEMENT!!! He didn't *give* me anyfuckingthing. I had vacation time available and I exercised it. How magnanimous of him to *give* me something that was mine in the first place.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He didn't *give* me anyfuckingthing. I had vacation time available and I exercised it. How magnanimous of him to *give* me something that was mine in the first place.

Now you know. You need to THANK him...


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I completely forgot that there is still an stb in front of that asshole's x.

Finalized D anywhere on the horizon for you?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finalized D anywhere on the horizon for you?

Nope.
As I said, instead of focusing on wrapping this shit up.....he just continues to complicate matters.

One of the most irritating aspects of this is that my youngest (14) would not have known about ANY of this drama if stbx hadn't chosen to 'involve' him. I still haven't had a specific conversation with DS14 about the Monday night incident. What my kid knew was that dad might be late and that there was a possibility that he would be staying with me. Kid was totally non-plussed ("ok") because I didn't make a big deal out of it (and it has happened before). Stbx is very much a "kids revolve around my life" instead of a "life revolves around my kids" person....and the kids know that.

I set a boundary that caused a mantrum of epic proportions. Apparently stbx feels that he is *allowed* to ignore specific proclamations of "be here by <a certain time> or I am keeping the kids overnight" because he so graciously and magnanimously allowed me to *take* his weekend.

Pffft. My kids were off of school for something like 18 days over Christmas thanks to the winter weather. If stbx hadn't been so busy being *out of town,* perhaps he could have spent more than 48 hours of that time with them. No.Sympathy.for.the.guy.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, January 10th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand completely. . Tired of round and round justifications from hubby.

Just done, don't want to waste the rest of my life wishing for "what could be in our marriage"

I am at last standing up for myself.

Reclaiming my life


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jul 2012
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I said, instead of focusing on wrapping this shit up.....he just continues to complicate matters.

Let me guess, AND it's your fault that the D is taking so long? I got that one AGAIN today. It's so impossible to argue with crazy


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2107 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have a lawyer? His lawyer isn't supposed to communicate directly with you if you do.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Amazonia said. If you're not pro se, either his L really messed up, or the letter does not, in fact, come from his L. If you have one, forward it to your L immediately.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 728 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
JessicaFL127
♀ Member
Member # 26864
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're STILL divorcing this a-hole?! I've seen cancers go away faster. You poor thing!


BW,32
divorced for 6 years
mom to two awesome boys,10 and 9

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more" -Cath, DCFC

"The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies"


Posts: 1244 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Missouri
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GR8 -- reclaiming your life is a good thing

BG -- of course it's my fault, how'd you guess?


I did receive the letter through proper channels. I had spoken to my L during this incident so she was aware of the situation and when she received the letter from his L, she was able to call the guy up and talk to him about it. Basically -- by the time I became aware of the letter, my L had already handled it.....and thank goodness for that. I swear. Remember the guy who went on Oprah hawking his autobiographical book that turned out to be fiction? That's what reading that letter was like.

I always forget that I don't have to really *explain* this stuff to you guys.....I'm preaching to the choir here, so to speak. You've all BTDT with the craziness.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 13

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