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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Grocery shopping
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every aisle we go down, Teslet brings up something about his dad.
Examples:
Chip aisle, where I'm picking up a couple of store brand chips, Teslet points to name brand, "These are the ones my dad gets, can we get these." No, kiddo, can't afford one bag of the name brand when I can get two of this other brand.
Ok, this happened every aisle. Teslet finally concludes that it's ok that I can't buy the expensive brands because his dad has lots of money and will buy them. And apparently I've finally gotten him to accept that there will always be a lack of junk food at my house because as we are going down the cookie-goody aisle he says, "I know this is not healthy food so we don't need it." (Dad's house -- junk food mecca)

But then we pass a phone display and Teslet says that he would like to buy dad a new phone because his phone is broken (screen cracked I guess) and has been broken for a very long time. Then he asks if we can buy dad a new bath drainer because dad and stripper whore keep using a sock or washcloth to plug up the bathtub!!

Did I mention that Teslet has zero volume control?

You know, I think the grocery store is about the only place where there is crossover between ex-shat and me. It might be the only place where Teslet can be reminded of both his mom and his dad.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
NotFixable
♀ Member
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tesla))) I know this sucks! Another thing that sucks because of our XPOSs!! Kids are the innocent casualties and those losers never stopped to think about it because they just think with their dicks! I hate this for you.


Me-BS
Him-WH
Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D
___________________________________

Nowhere left to go but up!


Posts: 108 | Registered: Dec 2013
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dad and stripper whore keep using a sock or washcloth to plug up the bathtub!!

Wow. WTF?!?


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, Teslet's opinion on using the sock or washcloth to plug up the drain was that it's kinda gross. And he also would like them to not use his sock!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a little eye opening also as far as the priorities between the two households. They would rather spend their money on name brand junk food than on a $2 drain plug? Okay, whatever, moving on.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally I would have bought the drain plug, put "property of Teslet" on it with sharpie and packed it in his bag for the next visit. Told teslet, it is his personal bath plug and to bring it home with him at the end of the visit.
What garbage!


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ ruby!! Wouldn't that just be funny!! Ex-shat sends Teslet home in sweatshirts talking about his little sister...I send him over there with bath drain plugs!!!

IrishLass -- it is an interesting little window into the differences in our priorities.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your grocery story reminded me of another way divorce effects us all. Yep, you get that brand at daddy's, this brand at ours. When you mentioned he gets junk at dads not at yours.

My XH routinely takes my kids out for dinner. 99% of the time, it's pita's or pizza. Now, I do cook most of the time, but when I do decide to grab something, I feel like I *can't* grab pita's or pizza, because the kids get them too often at dad's. ie. it's no longer a choice I get to make to grab us a quick dinner.

Same as when he does cook, 99% of the time, it's chicken, rice and veggie. So, I try to make other things other than chicken for them, even if I feel like chicken.

I also make sure when I grocery shop to grab all the things they do like, because dad never shops with them in mind. When he does have them for the weekend, there's not much of anything to snack on, and he cooks exactly *this much* food. Ummm...I'm ok with portion control, but your son is 17, and lifts weights continuously. He would be fine with xx amount at dinner, but will be looking for food again 2 hrs later. He's burning it as fast as it goes in. He always comes home from dad's starving. Kills my grocery bill feeding him on my days and dad's days! lol


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5527 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then he asks if we can buy dad a new bath drainer because dad and stripper whore keep using a sock or washcloth to plug up the bathtub!!

AYFKM? Two kids in the house and they can't buy a plug? Jay-sus.

I only do fruit/veg groceries with the girls and they do this sometimes too. Except they don't have a concept of cost being the difference eg. I don't put juice in my big girls lunchbox. When Miss 6 (almost!) asks why, Miss 3 pipes up "THAT is sometimes food, that's why. Its bad for your teeth".

We also live within 200m of each other so there are lots of overlapping 'places' - coffee shop, newsagent, brunch place, fish n chip shop etc.

I use Lucas PawPaw on my girls scrapes and bruises - its kind of a post-bath ritual which they love, showing me all of their battle scars and being treated with "Mummy's Magic Cream". I've done it since they were babies. It is not expensive but they value it enormously. Whenever they see the red tube in a shop they're both super excited to see it.

Daddy doesn't have special cream.

I'm sure they do it to him too. It sucks anytime they say his name but doubly so if it feels like a comparison. But they're not really comparing, I expect they just are observing and remarking on the world around them.

Be careful that you're not seeing something that isn't there. Do kids really care about home brand vs not at that age? Chips are chips. IMO it is the difference he is remarking on, not the price. If asshat was buying generic he'd be pointing those out to you because he knows them.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Bravenewgirl
♀ Member
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dad and stripper whore keep using a sock or washcloth to plug up the bathtub!!

I bet stripper whore thought it was her cervical cap and stuck in her vagina of doom.

They will never see it again.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SBB, I get that this isn't about price. I thought it was interesting that he was remarking on the differences. He is just making observations.

I could have given him a different reason on why I was buying the brand chips I was buying or I suppose I could have said nothing. Because I'm frugal, I just naturally point out that I'm buying the more economical brand. I thought it was interesting that he was so quickly accepting of the fact that I'm frugal.

No big deal...just forever fascinated by my kid's observations and the associations that he is building.

Bravenewgirl-- Oh how I love a good stripper whore funny!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.....and, again, I'm left with the image of Teslet actually saying "dad and stripper whore"...


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8088 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
betrayed13yrs
♀ Member
Member # 40343
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bet stripper whore thought it was her cervical cap and stuck in her vagina of doom.

OMG, FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!


Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CA
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^ Naaaaa, because without superglue, it would fall out.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4949 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO the frugal message is a good one - my girls have a concept of waste and know I consider certain things to be a waste of money.

It still sucks to get any info about the douchebags.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

....and, again, I'm left with the image of Teslet actually saying "dad and stripper whore"...
Me too, gonna. I imagine a sweet little boy voice saying "stripper whore" every. time.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, January 11th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

smh ... I'm sure that when my girls are finally ready to talk to their father again that he will try to buy them by taking them out to the movies, buying pizza and ice cream ... it's the only thing the one trick pony knows ...


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Eranda
♀ Member
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way back when it all happened, I stopped shopping at any stores around my house. I would drive WAY out of my way to go to the grocery store- just so I could be sure to never run into anyone I knew, or worse than that- him. It just felt safer to me that way. Weird? Maybe.

Weirder still- I still do it. I will go to the grocery store near work (70 miles away) but I won't go to the one a mile from my house. I will intentionally go to stores far away just so I can be at peace while I'm shopping and don't have to worry about seeing or being seen by anyone I don't want to.

And I shop online a lot.

I dread the kids' events and sports because I can't avoid him at those things and it puts me in a bad mood just to know he's in the vicinity. I prefer to pretend he doesn't exist.

I have a lot of admiration for people who can live close to their exes and take the chance of running into them.


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
SusanR
♀ Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dad can buy the namebrand chips but doesn't have a drain stopper for the bathtub? What a moron! Reminds me of my SIL that bought a hot tob and then didn't have the money to fix her washing machine. I so wanres to be snarky and suggest she wash her clothes in her hot tub. I also recall my Mom lending my step-sister $800 to pay her bills ans she showed up at the next family function with a new $800 camera. Mom never got her money back (and that was five years ago)!

Many people create their own money problems due to a warped sense of entitlement. I think yjis same mindset leads to affairs. I can confirm that both of these women had affairs, too. Affairs that ended their marriages but it never changed their entitlement mindset!


Posts: 1952 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You all are making me laugh!

Ruby and Brave are spot on.

Tiny T/J

During our marriage STBXH and I grocery shopped at a store about 2 miles from the house. Best prices around. 3 bags full vs 1 bag anywhere else.

Sooooo, now STBXH is 5 miles away living with OW in a more pretentious neighborhood. And I am sure STBXH does not show his frugal(tightass) side to OW. I have never worried that STBXH is at our cheap store! And every time I go, I chuckle a bit wondering how he is dealing with the hoist-toity grocery store that charges and arm/leg for everything!


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 786 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Topic Posts: 20

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