It's been a couple months since my last post and I know many of you are still really struggling. I wanted to post today to maybe give you all some hope that you can come out of this Hell.
For those that have followed my story I wanted to let you know that I am REALLY HAPPY!!! Honestly, have not been this happy in years.
I feel like I have found ME again and I realize now looking back how my WH picked me apart for years.
I think I even posted once how he told me that one of our good friends had supposedly told him "well, who does she think she is going to get?, Look at her." That comment stuck in the back of my head for 7 years.
I ran into that friend a few weeks ago and flat out asked him... his reply... "I swear I never said that and I know I never would because I always thought you were gorgeous." Can't believe I believed that for so long. He really did kill my self esteem over the years.
I have been dating a little and that is weird but fun. Dating in your 20s, guys had no money to take you on real dates. Dating in your 40s... much better : ) Nice dinners, concerts and actual chemistry.
Kids are doing great too. I really do think they see how you react and act accordingly. If you yell and scream or cry all day they are going to internalize. Show them you're happy and they will be happier because of it.
XH and I get along fine for the kids. Try to limit communication to texting, seems to do best but we are very amicable in regards to switching dates with kids etc.
Only real struggle I guess I have is the XBF. I ran into her at the gym the other day. I was so angry that she did not leave when she knew I was there. The lack of respect for my space and lack of remorse just kills me. It's a really small gym with a giant chalkboard for inspirational quotes. I walked over and wrote in huge letter "EVERYONE KNOWS YOU SUCKED MY HUSBAND'S COCK" and walked out. I know it wasn't very mature but I felt better.
I texted her later for the first time since everything happened and asked her to please find another gym. Told her it was the least she could do. We'll see what happens there.
Found out that XBF and her husband are renewing their wedding vows... how sweet. I've thought about sending them a bottle of Menage a Trois.
I want to thank you all again for helping me through my hell and I hope you all have peace and happiness in your lives too.
Just remember, life is too short to wallow in despair. I have watched too many good friends waste years of their lives. If we only get one life try to live it! Honestly your X is not worth it! Much love my friends!I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...
BS: me 42
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched