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User Topic: Triggery movies
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Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do NOT, I repeat - DO NOT watch Kevin Hart in Madison Square Garden.

It's at least 20% of jokes about how he just got divorced because his wife caught him cheating. He fully admits it and jokes about it. It is disgusting. Also a lot of jokes about having his friends cover for him and lie to his wife.

I find lately I preview movies sometimes before he and I watch them together.

For me, it's also anything that has a scene with a strip club or strippers. Even 2 seconds, boom, I'm triggered bad. I think I trigger on that even worse that movies featuring infidelity.

So can we start adding strip club scenes to this list??

I want to say I saw the opposite of a trigger in a movie not to long ago. Well it's kind of a trigger because it does mention infidelity, but it was The Big White with Robin Williams. His wife is struggling with mental illness and he is getting worn out being her caretaker. A buddy of his tells him he deserves to have an affair and tries to cajole him into it. Robin, until then sort of weak mannered, squares off and looks this guy straight in the eye and tells him never to say that to him again, adding that he loves his wife and he would NEVER hurt her. The guy backs down like the weasel he is.
I loved that scene.

Me - maybe BW 40s
He - maybe WH 40s
My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first M had lta.
Current marriage:
2/'13 out all night with an ow
2/'13 busted at strip club
4/'14-? bad boundaries w/howorker

Posts: 328 | Registered: Feb 2014
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Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Haven't read all the replies but a few months ago our daughter wanted us to watch

(The Great Gatsby )

with her because it was such a great movie. Not knowing we watched it. I cringed through it, feel guilty admitting that I laughed when the mistress was killed. And double bonus points that she happened to be a redhead. What I ended up thinking was this was a movie about karma. Because the mistress was killed, Daisy lived with the guilt of knowing she actually killed her, daisy's husband would spend the rest of his life miserable because his mistress was killed and knowing his wife didn't love him. Gatsby was killed in the end. And daisy also was left mourning the death of her lover Gatsby.

The notebook used to be my favorite love story. I just didn't see how screwed up it was. The show Scandal.

Let's face it just about EVERY movie has some sort of infidelity in it!

[This message edited by Offhispedestal at 11:08 PM, March 25th (Tuesday)]

Married 24

2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R

Posts: 629 | Registered: Jun 2011
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Member # 41891
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of these you have to know are triggery going in, (and, frankly, a lot have to do with excessively sensitive BS's!)

I think it's more important to share movies that no one would ever expect to be triggery. I just finally caught up with Clerks 2 -- the whole premise of the movie is the cliched "about to marry the wrong woman when his twue wuv is right there in front of him". Blecch. Although, it is interesting that the director cast his own wife as the "wrong woman"...

Me: BH, 50
Her: WW, 50
D-Day 12/27/2013 3-month PA with family friend

But also:
Me: WH, 50
Her: BW, 50
D-day: 12/27/2013 (about A that happened 14-15 years ago w/coworker)

Posts: 69 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
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Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The last 2 seasons of Weeds.

Such a shame. I have loved that show from the beginning. After dday, it was a bit triggery, but I was ok.

Then the story line with the cop getting a another man... in a car, behind a building.

No more Weeds.

FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 7253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
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Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone else get triggered by X-Men 3: The Last Stand? Iceman, who is in a relationship with Rogue, having a "close friendship" (to quote Wikipedia) with Kitty Pryde? I heard there was a deleted scene where Iceman and Kitty Pryde kissed, but even the ice skating scene was triggery enough. Wikipedia makes it worse by calling it a "close friendship" instead of cheating.

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus. Be mindful, compassionate, and responsible… Something valuable I learned on SI. :)

Posts: 3900 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
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Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hate to have to come back to this thread, but I'm triggering right now. A friend recently recommended I watch "Before Sunrise" and the two movies afterward. I'm 17 minutes into this film and it's already triggering me even though there isn't even any infidelity yet! Ethan Hawke's character says something about wondering, 10 or 20 years later while married, if a person should have chosen one of those other people in their pasts, and that he himself could be one of those people she wondered about later, so why don't they go on an adventure together… Immediate trigger. The thing about a person looking at their partner and getting bored and thinking about past prospects… Just ugh.

I paused the film to read a summary (yeah, had to do spoilers), and the summary for the first sequel "Before Sunset" does involve the two people in this film cheating on their significant others in the next film (in one case breaking up a family), and that's just the tip of the iceberg on triggers. I cannot believe that within 17 minutes I knew it. Do we always have this sense forever when stuff like this is going to happen?

Finished reading a comic miniseries the other day too. Yep, infidelity in that one as well. Nightwing's dating Oracle again but making out with Huntress, including giving her the first New Year's kiss (and that's not even getting into my triggers with Sarah Essen and Gordon). WTF?

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus. Be mindful, compassionate, and responsible… Something valuable I learned on SI. :)

Posts: 3900 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
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Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry that triggered you.

D final 8/2012

Posts: 3709 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
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Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't worry Brandon, I find triggers help sometimes in a way because it brings stuff to the surface and makes it easier to examine why it's upsetting, instead of things staying buried. When it's in a movie, somehow it's clearer to put into words… Don't know if that makes sense, but…

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus. Be mindful, compassionate, and responsible… Something valuable I learned on SI. :)

Posts: 3900 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
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Default  Posted: 5:32 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Aladdin" - first movie seen with ExH

"Vantage Point" - last movie seen with ExH
This one is particularly triggery because when we saw it, he KNEW he was banging the broad and saw this just to humor me.

Most of the movies he liked I never wanted to watch in the first place so when the titles come up that are triggery I wouldn't want to watch them anyway.

"Romeo Must Die"
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"Southpark" series
"The Simpsons"

Most of the superhero movies he DID ruin for me simply because he liked them

I absolutely HATE "Breakfast At Tiffanys" even long before I married my own "super rat." I know Audrey was wonderful and her costumes and look are iconic....but WTF is so damn GOOD about that film? Every character in it is damaged goods!

Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23

Posts: 464 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
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Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"50 First Dates" was "our" movie. I was sitting in my hotel room, pining away for her and watching that movie, wondering why she wasn't hadn't answered my call or texted me back. She was on her first date (which ended up being a sleepover!) with her new dad.

I used to really like that one but I don't think I'll be able to watch it again.

Posts: 1642 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
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Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unexpectedly triggering from Lord of the Rings. Even though it seems like Aragorn rejects Eowyn, it appears so much like he led her on, especially in the extended edition where he restokes her fire and tucks her in when she's sleeping. Since he's still wearing Arwen's necklace, it just reminds me of a married guy (with a promise necklace instead of a wedding ring) giving attention to or having an EA with another girl. I spent most of the both movies wishing he would just give her his "you love a shadow" speech a LOT sooner. While I sort of get that, based on his facial expressions, he wasn't smitten with her or anything, but if his fear was that his rejection of her would cause her to become suicidal - then why did he keep initiating with her? Why didn't he nip it in the bud instead of letting it continue!? Urgh. Even more painful because Arwen is torn apart with grief over him, sending him psychic projections to keep him going… Literally dying from missing him, and meanwhile he's spending time with another girl! Makes me even madder when I see her kiss him at the end, can't help but feel like he almost doesn't deserve her, at least since she doesn't know about his days spent with Eowyn.

Aside from that one thing, I love the films, so it sucks to have it interfere. I keep reminding myself that if H ever chooses another girl, I'm determined to be happy for him next time instead of letting anger ruin me. I try to see the situation in the movie as similar to make it a little more bearable, with Aragorn as my H, and Eowyn as the main OW (who even looks and talks like her! The main OW was blonde, spoke in a prim way, and had a soft pretty name - she's way prettier and more feminine than I am, and I wish H would just admit it already that he found her a better catch than me).

Sorry. Not sure if anyone else triggers from it? Hope not.

ETA: When Aragorn goes to find King Theoden and finds him chatting with Elrond (his future father-in-law!), the flat way Theoden says "I take my leave" and the dirty look he gives Aragorn on the way out makes me feel like Aragorn did some serious leading Eowyn on… And I seriously wonder if more did not happen between them. Why else would her uncle be so pissed with him?

[This message edited by silverhopes at 1:42 PM, May 12th (Monday)]

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus. Be mindful, compassionate, and responsible… Something valuable I learned on SI. :)

Posts: 3900 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
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Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crazy, stupid love.
I used to like it, but now can't stand it. It makes infidelity try to look funny, which it's not as we all know.

Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
Filed, but may R after

Posts: 840 | Registered: Dec 2013
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Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never followed the private lives of celebrities. That may explain why I can take Spencer Tracy-Audrey Hepburn movies, but ever since I learned about their A, I've always watched with some sort of wall up.

I used to love The Philadelphia Story, but now I think it's highly obnoxious.

If my fiancée went off with another man a few hours before our wedding, as Hep did with Jimmy Stewart, I'd like to think I'd at least delay the wedding. Instead, the author has his characters, and the audience, blame the fiancé for being too puritanical.

And the author and characters lead the audience to have contempt for the fiancé because he grew up poor and never learned how to ride a horse or behave in high society.

As a movie or play, it seems like a lot of fun, but it supports detestable values.

JMO, of course.

fBH (me) - 70, fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9918 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
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Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, May 12th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been white knuckling my way through TV shows. House of Cards had to go... And House... We are still watching it... But the constant situations with hookers is a bit...

Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
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