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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How to Find A Good Attorney
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I do not have any referrals or any friends or family that have been through this that can recommend an attorney tome.

I have gone on-line to look for an attorney, looking for reviews. Some were helpful. But are they true reviews or someone the attorney had send it in?

I would really like to find someone who had a personal experience that they could share with me, then have a consult to see if that Lawyer is for me. Unfortunately I do not have that luxury.

Any suggestions on how to locate a good attorney? I would like to go the route of a mediator, but I do want to retain a really good Lawyer to review what ever I agree to prior to signing it and at least have them in my back pocket if my WW decides to play nasty.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many major metropolitan areas publish a city magazine, and they often do "best of the best" issues featuring professionals like doctors and attorneys. That would be a good place to start.

If you have children and are concerned about custody arrangements, you might try a regional dad's rights group--they might have a referral or know of someone who can protect your interests.

I wish I could be of more help--I am simply unfamiliar with what resources might be available in Canada.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29541 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have to pay for a consult? or do most Lawyers offer this for free with the hopes you will retain them.

I mean if go and meet 3 lawyers to see who best suits me, that good be 300 dollars a visit.


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I arranged a couple of free consultations. They were cold calls, I had no reason to select the ones I did except that they were from my town and practiced family law.

I took some time and thought about the type of person that I wanted to represent me.

I had a list of questions regarding the process and wanted to know what to expect.

The first one was a dud because I didn't feel he was getting me or hearing my situation.

The second one I retained because she seemed to understand my goals and articulated how I could get there.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some do free consults, in person or the phone at least here in the States. Visit their webpages, find someone who just does family law, if you have kids and custody is an issue, they will talk about their experience. Lawyers like to talk, so if you can interview one on the phone, they will likely give you enough insight to decide if it is a good fit with you. I interviewed 3, and chose the one with the most experience. Though of the 3 I only outright rejected one. She was very dismissive and clearly only did divorces to fund her office. Since my STBX is controlling, I needed someone to deflect that legally. Decide what you need from them and tailor your questions to fit that need. I also selected an office with more then one attorney so that for simple status hearings, he could send the rookie for less money but for the big negotiations I will have the experienced attorney handle it.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home. We are slowly working toward that but are still

Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
lifestoshort
♀ Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dont try to find the best one off the bat. call all, get a free consult with anyone you can and then this creates, conflict of interest so ex cant use those lawyers either.

as you have a consult with each, many of your questions or all will be answered. you will see rates, retainers and their ways of practicing. find out if they are firm or laid back.

my guy is in between- he told me could fight hard but he doesn't at all. I did win everything tho. I saw 3 other attys before I chose him. i chose him based on his easy answers, his rate and lower retainer. most retainers here are $3500-5K


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 677 | Registered: Mar 2008
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

US and Canada are fairly similar in stuff like this. Some lawyers will give a free consult, some won't.

Look up some in your area Never. Call, see what they say about a consult. Sometimes, just by talking to them on the phone or their paralegal, you can get a feeling if they are someone you want to deal with, KWIM? Also, like Cat said, look up Dad's Rights Lawyers in your area...that could help you greatly.

Also, I know you say you don't know anyone, but I'm betting asking one or two people at your work would turn up a few names. Even if they haven't D, their best friend or brother has. You don't know until you ask.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5372 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you All,

What would I bring to the consult? any financial info, or it this an informal meeting for me to ask questions and for us to feel each other out etc...?

Im a confident independent young man who have taken care of myself wife and kids for years, Even taken care of my mother for a bit.

Why am i so scared and confused??


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
sparklezombie
♀ Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can always call a different type of attorney, like a personal injury, criminal, real estate or estate planning attorney. I'm an atty (not divorce) and when folks call, I give them referrals to people I know in whatever practice area they need. I'm experienced enough to know a good atty from a crummy one, so I can generally give a pretty good referral. At least it's a leg up from the phone book.


BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
neverwillhapn2me
♂ Member
Member # 41912
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Spark;e: I wish you were somewhere near me for an honest referral.

I have gone online and did a bit of research. I was referred to a site where I can get some free legal advice.

Some attorneys mention others that they respected and were very tough to go up against.

They did mention that they wereVERY EXPENSIVE, but said well worth every cent because they new they had a difficult time when up against them.

One of them practices in my area.


The saddest thing about betrayal is it never comes from your enemies


If your searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ontario
crisp
♂ Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope to give you a reality check here since many people have very distorted views on what to look for in prospective counsel. Having practiced for decades and running up against all types of attorneys, I think I can both dispel some common myths and steer you toward how to find the right match for you.

In most situations where people find themselves needing an attorney's help, the issues are not unique, highly complex or in need of extraordinary specialized expertise. Generally, divorce cases fit into "the run of the mill" cases. So, that means most domestic relations attorneys are competent to handle your case. On the other hand, just because someone is competent to handle your case, it does not mean that person is a good fit for you.

First, identify what issues are present in your case. Custody issues? Support payment issues? Property settlement issues such as illiquid assets, pensions, inheritances or spendthrift may need attention. Next, do a short internet search of the law on these issues in your state so that you know enough to ask the right questions. Then, make some cold calls to family law attorneys you found on the internet, the phone book or you heard about from someone.

Now is the more tricky part. What you want to end up with is a good feeling about the person who is going to guide you through to the next part of your life. After meeting with any lawyer ask yourself:
1. Does this person have experience before this court in divorce proceedings?
2. Do I have a good idea how much this process will cost? Keep in mind that the hourly rate is only one component in the fee. An attorney charging $150 can add up to more money then a $300/hr. lawyer depending on how aggressive the billing practices are. Although your attorney cannot predict how much time your STBX and his attorney will drive up costs, he/she should be able to give you fairly accurate ranges.
3. Did he/she educate me about the most important issues and likely outcomes of my case? For instance, you might be confronted with spousal support issues.
4. Did he/she explain to your satisfaction what to expect during the divorce proceedings in terms of income, assets, housing, their fees getting paid and any other important immediate issue you have.

The bottom line is that this person will be trusted with getting you out of a predicament with a reasonable outcome for a reasonable cost with the least amount of drama and time. DO NOT find yourself the biggest asshole out there (shark). That type will drive up cost and painful drama for their benefit, not yours. Interviewing 2 or 3 attorneys and asking followup questions is not a bad idea.


Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY

Posts: 358 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
lifestoshort
♀ Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you do not need to bring all that to the 1st meeting. bring your questions in a notebook and then write notes as he speaks.

each time I saw a new person, I have more questions.

also go to the library or buy a book on divorce so you understand process and lingo. was REALLY helpful for me and saved me alot of money by not asking the lawyers that later


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 677 | Registered: Mar 2008
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reading a book to understand the lingo is a good idea, but understand that each state has it's own divorce laws and they vary. Go to your states website and search divorce laws. Make sure you are on the official state website. URL should end in .gov

While there will be alot to read, most of it is explained in layman's terms. I read my laws, took notes, and it saved me time with my lawyer having to educate me on certain areas.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have friends that have been through a divorce and they were happy with their attorney, schedule a consult an see if they are a "fit" for you.

No friends that have been through this?? Check with your IC. Or your pastor. I know folks who have gotten very good attorneys for their situations through these channels.

If those are options, call several folks you "like" from internet research and start there.

It IS scary!!! I have had 2 consults -- the first one sucked -- I would NEVER use that attorney for anything. The 2nd one, I really liked. I will probably call or have a consult with a couple of more before I select one.

Be informed and use what you learn with one attorney to ask questions from the next.

[This message edited by ItHappened2Me2 at 5:41 PM, January 12th (Sunday)]


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
myowndystopia
♀ Member
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just asked for question suggestions last weekend. I'll bump that thread for you because there were some good suggestions. If you are in IC, ask if he/she has references. I haven't good friend that does MC and IC and she gave me names. My own IC also gave me names


Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele


Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 15

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