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Newest Member: alwaysnforever (44266)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My story
dogg
♂ New Member
Member # 41995
Evil  Posted: 7:18 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to say that although I don't feel lucky in some ways I do. My AP lived in a city 2 hours away from home. MY BS never knew her. After she broke it off with me last April (it was a 10 month A) it hurt so I just had to suck it up by myself. I figured it was my punishment. Little did I know that my W would figure it out 9 months later. But reading some of these posts about A's that happened between co-workers or friends. I've even hears of A's between in-laws. At least my BS doesn't have to deal with possibly running into my former AP. I'm sure life will never be the same. I was soooo foolish.


If I could turn back time.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014
dogg
♂ New Member
Member # 41995
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday morning my BS decided that she wanted to make love
.

My BS told me today that she needs emotional support if we're going to make love again. She says that years ago I gave her emotional support, and that last Friday I gave it to her. We made love on Saturday. I don't remember giving her emotional support on Friday. I don't understand what emotional support is. Can someone enlighten me?


If I could turn back time.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014
dogg
♂ New Member
Member # 41995
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.
I don't understand what emotional support is. Can someone enlighten me?

I just don't know what she means. She is so angry with me because I don't understand. HELP!


If I could turn back time.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014
PrideFallen
♂ Member
Member # 42002
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is an area where historically I've not exactly stood out from the crowd (unless it was in a bad way), but my guess is that you listened. You acknowledged her feelings, probably showed some empathy. Rather than trying to offer solutions or advice, or talking obliviously about your own issues, you maybe just listened to her in an open way. I would consider all of this to be giving emotional support.


Me: WH, 40
Her: BW, 40
D-Day June 2013
Working on R

Posts: 54 | Registered: Jan 2014
dogg
♂ New Member
Member # 41995
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BS wants me to read the book "Recovering From Affairs". The book is for people who's spouses had an affair. Why would it be beneficial for me to read it? Shouldn't I be reading something for people who had the affair?


If I could turn back time.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014
LovesLaboursLost
♀ Member
Member # 37272
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe she wants you to see the BS perspective from another source other than herself. Maybe she needs to show you that her experience is validated by others who have been betrayed and it's not just her being "emotional" or "holding onto the past". Just a thought.


I'm a work in progress.

Posts: 77 | Registered: Oct 2012
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would it be beneficial for me to read it?

Because your BS wants you to.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1044 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, January 27th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't understand what emotional support is. Can someone enlighten me?

Emotional support can be as simple as just really listening.
It can be being sympathetic to the pain you have caused, not bringing your own shit into the conversation, just hearing what your spouse has to say and offering comfort.

Reading a book for BS' could be beneficial to you because it would give you insight into what your BS is going through. I think your BS is hoping it will help you understand her feelings. Read it. Twice. Do whatever she needs you to do in order for her to feel safe.

[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:28 AM, January 27th (Monday)]


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1170 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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