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User Topic: Not sure where else to share my story...
learningtogether
♀ New Member
Member # 42040
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cheated on my husband last spring 2013. It was a devastating realization of course for him, and a big wake up call for me...that I was not happy and I unfortunately looked outside my sacred bond with my husband for affection and attention. Since this time, I have tried desperately to make amends and learn from what I've done so it won't happen again. My husband has been kind and gracious and hopeful most times, but on occasion he still says that he doesn't trust me to never do it again. I try my best to hear him but feel stupid when all I can offer him is my belief in myself that I won't. I have learned from other mistakes in my life - big and small - and trust myself enough not to hurt him like that again. How do I know for sure? Because I just do. Am I so naive to believe this? Do other WS have this trust in themselves not to do it again...and then have another A?

I've only read one book on infidelity, read some forums, watched a handful of videos on other people's stories - admittedly most of the stories I pick of of reconciliation because I knew instantly I was in the wrong and had to make it right and didn't want another life outside my wonderful family. So maybe it's been 8 or 9 months later - and my husband recently told me I wasn't doing enough to work on the healing and recovery and that I was trying to just move on with my life like it didn't happen. I can see how he felt that because I do try to focus on the positive a lot (for all aspects of my life or I get pulled down into depression relatively easily I'd say). But I don't go a day without thinking what I did, worried my husband could decide to leave me any day, holding my breath if I feel his mood shift to sadness or anger about anything, and wondering if there was a better explanation I can give him because he's still not satisfied with it. My main explanation is that "I got caught up." I was so stressed and overwhelmed with life and didn't feel enough support from him. Not a reason to cheat of course, but I didn't know how to tell him so clearly that it wasn't working because I guess I was in denial that I could make it work or it would just get better. And there was a bit of fear that he wouldn't adjust his life either to help make it work.

Somehow the only freeing outlet at the time ended up going dancing with a friend where I met guys that adored me. I ended up texting 2 of them over a couple of month span and that turned into sexting and discussions of having a PA (although for me that was part of the allure of sexting and I really didn't want to do that to my husband). It all ended when my husband saw texts again - a second time (after I said it was over - so really bad blow for him) and discovered that I had an online A with one of the guys over skype. I had felt sure it was over a number of times throughout and said goodbye to this one guy but was easily enticed back by the constant attention and this newfound erotic addiction I never experienced before.

So here I am, not sure why I'm sharing all this but to see if anyone has advice I guess of what more I can do to help my husband trust me again. I've followed the professional advice and immediately removed myself from any thing connected to those guys and those events. Although I have tried to gently ask about how and when I could go dancing again with my husband because I truly enjoy that part. Is that wrong? I've tried to be as communicative as possible about people I'm communicating with, my activities, my thoughts and he tries too, but we miss the boat sometimes. Soon after we have a hard conversation that hurts and is exhausting rehashing everything but I think healthy because it takes us to another level. We went to counselling but the counsellor didn't specialize in infidelity so we have agreed to look for someone else. I've been to individual counselling although that will stop as it's just become about me and my stress management. And my husband said he'll go to individual counselling.

At this point I did make a request from my husband that if I keep working at all these things with him, that he wouldn't berate me anymore because I don't know how much I can take of that part of this process. We never spoke to each other like that before, and I feel like it's an intentional attack when I never intentionally hurt him. I know I wasn't thinking of him while sexting and I was selfish and that hurts him as much, but is it true that I am now a "cheater" or that I have "no integrity"? I just feel like these are not truths about me and I have to allow him to say that for his recovery. I know I DID cheat and I DIDN'T have integrity - past tense but I don't think that has to define me forever. Any thoughts on that?

Well this is my first thread so I hope it makes sense and doesn't offend anyone because I really am just trying to learn through this so I can be a better partner to my husband forever.


Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2014
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Learning...

I'm moving this to the Wayward forum, you will still get replies from BS's but also from WS's.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198275 | Registered: May 2002
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Although I have tried to gently ask about how and when I could go dancing again with my husband because I truly enjoy that part. Is that wrong?
BH here. I don''t know if it is wrong as much as it likely triggers him. You may see it as "that part" but I promise he sees it as connected to the A. I could easily see myself triggering and having mind movies by being with you when out dancing which is where/how the A started. Patience on this one is recommended. He is going to heal at his own pace.

We never spoke to each other like that before, and I feel like it''s an intentional attack when I never intentionally hurt him.
Gently...there was never an A before either. I advise you refrain from saying "Don''t speak to me like that" and instead say "I understand you are hurting and upset. What are you thinking/feeling?" He is in tremendous pain. He is not trying to hurt you for the sake of hurting you in my opinion. He is trying to express how hurt he is. You say you did not intentionally hurt him but think of it from this perspective. He could easily say you knew you engaging in an A would hurt him. You had an A. You may not have had the thought "I am going to do this to hurt my husband." but you knowingly engaged in something that would hurt him.

but is it true that I am now a "cheater" or that I have "no integrity"?
The trust has been broken. It is going to take time and consistency to restore that.

[This message edited by Brandon808 at 10:42 PM, January 12th, 2014 (Sunday)]


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4000 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Stillkicking
♂ Member
Member # 38246
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome learning, you have joined one of the best places to help you deal with your affairs, there are many others here with years if wisdom and advice to help you navigate this road. That being said...


My husband has been kind and gracious and hopeful most times, but on occasion he still says that he doesn't trust me to never do it again

And by all rights why should he, you blew his world apart, everything he thought was true is now a lie in his eyes. It is YOUR job to regain that trust, and the way to that is through actions, not promises and words, you need to do the work and get to the bottom of what faulty thought process allowed you to make these choices.

How do I know for sure? Because I just do. Am I so naive to believe this? Do other WS have this trust in themselves not to do it again...and then have another A?

This is something that my BS had said to me after I found out about her affair (I am a mad hatter by the way, meaning I have cheated and been cheated on, I am by far more a WS though so) and it pissed me off to no end. It just doesn't cut it, it is jut words, anybody can say anything, know what I mean??

But I don't go a day But I don't go a day without thinking what I did

Do you communicate this to him? I think that this would help if you brought it up to him instead of waiting for him to come to you. Tell him how sorry you are and that you are willing to do the work needed. Just brining it up to him is an action.

My main explanation is that "I got caught up." I was so stressed and overwhelmed with life and didn't feel enough support from him

This here is blame shifting, and is a cop out, nothing, NOTHING your husband did lead you to cheat, that choice is yours, and yours alone, now own it.

Although I have tried to gently ask about how and when I could go dancing again with my husband because I truly enjoy that part. Is that wrong?

Unfortunately, this may never be alright in husbands eyes ever again, it very well be a trigger for him for ever. Ask yourself, whät is more important to you, your husband or dancing?

I've tried to be as communicative as possible about people I'm communicating with, my activities, my thoughts

This is good, keep this up, being transparent is very important from now on, kudos.

I've been to individual counselling although that will stop as it's just become about me and my stress management.

Is this not what IC is about, fixing you? Stress may have played a role in your affairs, so don't give up on it so easy, stick with it and communicate with your IC that you want to get to the root of your "why you did it".

At this point I did make a request from my husband that if I keep working at all these things with him, that he wouldn't berate me anymore because I don't know how much I can take of that part of this process

I'm sorry here but I don't think that you are in a position to be making requests of your husband at this point, as long as it is not abuse it is part o the process and you being able to sit through it and listen to him vent will show him that you are in for the long haul.

Once again welcome learning, keep posting often and show those actions to your husband, you both can and will survive this, just make sure you do it right the first time. Best of luck to you on this crazy ass journey.


You'll never learn to fly
until your standing at the cliff

I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable reserve my right to be afraid.
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way.


Posts: 130 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Canada
2yrsblind
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Member # 41974
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, January 12th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A couple things that stick out for me reading this is 1) asking when you can continue the activity that lead to the A 2) telling him you don't know how much of his anger you can take.

To me those things alone says your not serious about fixing things.

The pain you feel from him lashing out in anger is only a small percent of the pain you caused. Process this while he is lashing out.

Asking about the out dancing is like you taking him back, "oh she can wait to get right back at it" maybe what he thinks when you bring it up.


The most damaging lies told are those we tell to ourselves--my grandma

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest USA
heforgotme
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have tried to gently ask about how and when I could go dancing again with my husband because I truly enjoy that part. Is that wrong?

I don't think it's wrong bc you specified with my husband, but I do think it's too soon. I'm sure he has all kinds of negative feelings revolving around this, which are very understandable under the circumstances. I would wait until you guys are much more stable before bringing this up again. And even then I would make it clear that you only want to go if you can go with HIM.

my husband recently told me I wasn't doing enough to work on the healing and recovery

The best thing FWH has done for me in this area is that in one way or another he brings it up. Pretty much every single day. Every day he will say something that lets me know how much he hates what happened, can't believe what he risked, or values me/us. I'm not talking about the BIG discussions (although these were necessary), but the littler things. It might seem counter-intuitive to bring it up....like you are keeping it "alive", but for whatever reason knowing that he was thinking about it allowed me to think about it less. And it kept his remorse at the forefront of my mind.

Hope some of this was helpful. Good luck with your journey.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1083 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
Emptyshelldad
♂ Member
Member # 32292
Default  Posted: 2:29 AM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I felt and do still feel this way with my ex wife.

I felt like she was not doing enough to make us better.

Though she said the same thing. She is busy and she means to do these things but never actually does them.

The thing that bothers me most about it, is how she made time for other man, and lots of it. Spent hours looking at lingerie online for him, etc. but yet she can't find the time to read books or forums.
It's obviously about priorities. People get done what's really important to them.

If you realized how badly you hurt your husband and you are losing him forever, you might start to do something different.

But right now I get the feeling he sees it as you don't devote any time really to trying to fix what you did, and what made you do it. You just kinda move on and hope he will forget about it.

I do hope you begin to prioritize his healing.


Me: BH - 28, Her: WW - 31, 10 years, 5 months, 6 days.
2 beautiful daughters. 1 devious, deceitful, serpant-like liar of a wife.
"oh god this has brought a path of destruction and scorching pain leaving in its wake a charred wasteland of a onc

Posts: 149 | Registered: May 2011 | From: emptyshelldad
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 5:43 AM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it's wrong bc you specified with my husband, but I do think it's too soon. I'm sure he has all kinds of negative feelings revolving around this, which are very understandable under the circumstances. I would wait until you guys are much more stable before bringing this up again. And even then I would make it clear that you only want to go if you can go with HIM.

Interesting. I didn't read the OP's comment like that. I read it that she tried to bring up the topic with her husband, not that she wanted to go dancing with him. I suppose because it says "when I could go dancing again", not "we". I read that she wants to go dancing with her friends and she's tried to bring that up with her husband.

learningtogether - would you mind clarifying?

Also, there seems to be some history with texting and online cheating prior to this physical affair in 2013. Is that also correct?

You said you would stop counseling because it's become about stress management. I think that's related to the A, don't you? Isn't daily life and stress what you wanted an escape from? I may be off, and if so, I apologize.

Regarding your husband and his anger and hurtful words - gently, it has only been 9 months. With a truly remorseful spouse, the generally accepted healing time is 2 to 5 years. Again - with a remorseful spouse. With less remorse comes more time.

Speaking as a BS, again gently, I would be very hesitant to ask him to be more aware of his comments. Every comment he makes is said out of pain. He is hurting, and he has no real outlet or method to feel better. When a WS asks a BS to 'not do this or that', or makes comments like 'I don't know how much I can take', it often comes across to the BS that the WS doesn't care about the BSs pain, and is only interested in how they (the WS) feel. I cannot speak for your H, or you, but if this is how your BH feels, each comment about what you can or can't take is a set back.

A BS needs to feel important to the WS. VERY GENTLY - having an A sends a message that the BS isn't (or wasn't) important, and that hurts deeply. One way a BS looks to feel important again is to look for signs that the WS is in it for the long haul. Comments about how much a WS can take, etc, can be very damaging. Far more, I think, than any WS realizes. Just remember, every comment is his pain coming out, and this is a long process.

I hope I've offended no one here. I'm only giving one possibility, and it's based on my experience as well as having read hundreds of comments from various BSs. I am sharing it here hoping that it will offer some more understanding of the BS by a WS. Not necessarily the OP, althought I do believe that it's the case in this situation, but all WSs that are struggling.

As a BS that's done my fair share of saying negative things, closing up emotionally, and all kinds of other negative responses, I understand the pain that these comments are born from. PLEASE - please don't take offense to my comments. They are not designed or intended to point fingers or place blame, at all. They are ONLY in the hopes of helping OP and other WSs understand some of the behaviors of a BS.

learningtogether, keep trying, and helping your BH. You'll get there. The WSs here have so much to offer - you've joined a great group that can really offer you some wonderful advice gained from hard experiences.

Best of luck! I hope you and your H are able to work through this.

(((((hugs)))))


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
astudentoflife
♂ Member
Member # 25821
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to address the "I got caught up" response to your BS asking why and how it happened.

I think we can all agree that infidelity is wrong in any case. That it doesn't usually "piss" our BS off, it makes them question themselves, their lives, their choices. They tend to start to blame themselves in the early days. Not all of course, and not those that come on here and learn about infidelity. Yes, there is some anger, but the questioning of themselves is also very common.

Bearing that in mind, you must find out what made you feel entitled to betray your spouse. For me it was simply wanting her to hurt. I didn't have an emotional love affair, I had a sordid hook up with a hooker. The why though still eluded me. I knew I wanted to hurt her, I didn't know why and I didn't know where it came from. Years later, with a lot of work I have been able to find the "why" in my case of abusing my spouse, the infidelity was just a symptom for me, as are most case of infidelity. I had to find the why to stop my abusive ways and for my wife to be able to understand it wasn't her fault, another burden we place on our BS.

My wife has stood with me while I worked at figuring it out. In my case it took years, however I "showed my work" and my wife thought that was enough for her. I often tell her in no way did she ever deserve that type of behavior from me. We are in good R. I work at it and so does my wife.


WS:52 Male
BS:47 Female
Working towards R and forgiveness.
Also working on domestic abuse issues (9 months abuse free, working hard for more)
My wife is my greatest teacher and best friend.


Posts: 320 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Florida
DanteJace
♂ New Member
Member # 42017
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, January 13th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

... but is it true that I am now a "cheater" or that I have "no integrity"? I just feel like these are not truths about me and I have to allow him to say that for his recovery. I know I DID cheat and I DIDN'T have integrity - past tense but I don't think that has to define me forever. Any thoughts on that?

Another user here (@smez) recently posted:
We are not solely our affairs.

I rather agree with that. Please consider the OTHER things you are. Maybe some of these:
• A good parent, or a good child to your parents.
• A good community member, maybe supporting the PTA or running a scout group or a soccer team.
• A good friend, listening to others problems and helping how you can.
Those are all virtuous things... but we of course all have some less virtuous aspects, too: maybe being a procrastinator or spendthrift or gossip.

I think you will undoubtedly spend much time in the doghouse of your relationship as you deal with the infidelity. But the only way through it is to regain the sense of who you are. And you are more than your affair. So think of them. Write them down. Discuss them with your one-on-one therapist. Maybe someday show the list to your husband.

I can't imagine a true reconciliation without allowing yourself to also acknowledge where you HAVEN'T messed up in your life. Hopefully your spouse can someday refocus on the "whole you", not just the "unfaithful you"... as I can't imagine reconcilliation without that, either.


.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: northeast US
learningtogether
♀ New Member
Member # 42040
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you to all the feedback...it was good to go through with my husband and lead to good discussions over the last few weeks. I did have to see his healing as a priority and unfortunately he had to remind me of that because excuse or not - life took over and I need to stop work and parenting to take time to reflect more on the affair.

One thing I'm not sure about is how I can truly empathize if I've never been cheated on. I'm a caring person, aside from my horrible lapse in morals to sext 2 other men and lie to my husband about it. So I know I'm not callous but how do I put myself in his shoes so I can convince him I would never hurt him like that again? My husband says that he trusts me now but what he's afraid of is that 5 or 10 or 20 years down the road when life is good again and his guard is down that I would cheat again.

So we're starting online counselling this month with someone who says their have lots of experience in infidelity so hopefully they can help us out with that part - how can I help remove the fear of experiencing this trauma again in the future?

Thanks for listening.


Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2014
iwillNOT
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Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can you put yourself in his shoes, to empathize? I don't think you can ever know what it's like unless it's happened to you. I compare it to labor and childbirth - no matter how you try to describe it to someone, you just can't convey what it is really like. They have to experience it themselves to truly understand it. I would never have thought this pain would be so all consuming. Worse than losing a pregnancy. Worse than my mother's cancer. Worse than anything I have ever experienced.

Have you listened, really listened, to how your husband felt, without throwing in conditions or shifting blame? I suggest you ask him again, then don't talk, just listen.. It might benefit you to do some thorough reading in the JFO forum and see how those folks describe their state of mind.

Your words won't convince him of much, if anything. Only consistent actions over time. If he were to "turn down the volume" and ignore your words and look solely on your actions, what would your actions say to him?

You can be a great help in his healing, or you can be a hindrance. If you take full responsibility, that will go a long way. He needs to get a good amount of healing in before you move on to pre-existing marital issues such as your feeling he did not support you.

It is commendable that you are posting here and asking for input. There is so much wisdom and advice to be gleaned here. Read, read, post, and read some more.

Best of luck.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
learningtogether
♀ New Member
Member # 42040
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you...you're right, we have talked so much and I have been present to even the most painful conversations - but I don't think I ever started them - he did. My husband will say when he's triggered or ask what I've been doing to learn more about infidelity. But I haven't been the proactive one, other than finding counsellors.
Yes, this website is more than I ever imagined out there. I'm genuinely amazed at how deceiptful loved ones can be, including myself of course. And the book my husband suggested I read "Not Just Friends" is really heavy and it feels like I'm living someone else's life surrounding myself with the world of surviving infidelity.

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2014
2yrsblind
♂ Member
Member # 41974
Default  Posted: 1:37 AM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like your BH needs reassurance. This was an issue for me. While I can fully admit I was less then idea as a husband pre A, it took all my faith in her away. I remember looking at her thinking "who are you" its the same face I've seen since we were 16 years old.

I needed her to SHOW me she was the girl I fell in love with. She tried with words, but her fear of rejection, and me knowing "the full story" because I would think poorly of her, prevented her from going all out.

I believe this is where your BH is ATM. He is wanting more, more truth, more assurances, more work. Simply wants you to go all out.

I just couldn't get that from her, sadly it started to have a negative impact on my feelings towards her. Slowly I became indifferent, then mean. One morning I woke and thought "its not worth it, she's not worth it"

We both have regrets from those times. Two years after D we reconnected. We put it all on the table. Her because she still wanted us, me because not knowing stayed with me and affected other relationships.

Point being no regrets. Don't back down because he is in a bad mode, those are the times he needs reassurance. You can't fear him walking out, you have no control over that. You control how much love show, and understanding of his pain.


The most damaging lies told are those we tell to ourselves--my grandma

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest USA
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BH here.


I know I DID cheat and I DIDN'T have integrity - past tense but I don't think that has to define me forever. Any thoughts on that?

What has changed ? How can you be sure that it is permanent ? What changes have you made that you can demonstrate to him that he is safe in this M ? What is to stop you for the next time in your life that you are stressed ? If you can't prove it without relying on your words alone, then he will never progress beyond where he is at right now.

To your BH, it is in his own best interest to not take your words at face value anymore. Actions are the only thing that will slowly chip away at the wall he has put up between the two of you.

FWIW it isn't the acts that hurt your BH the most, it is the lies. Betrayal, of any kind, hurts. It causes him to question his future with you. Also he can't believe you and will find it very hard to see that there wasn't any physical betrayal.

You made choices. It was not out of your control, and on some level, he knows that. That is why he is frustrated and wants to see your consequences.

Also, asking about going dancing again ? I wouldn't bring that up any time soon. Choices have consequences and until he understands the consequences you have suffered, he will be angry.

Unfairness, fear, feeling like he is second choice and a whole host others are brought to surface any time he sees you. In other words he is in the "How could you?" Phase. He wants to feel better and believes the only way to get through to you is for you to feel the pain he feels by expressing it to you.

I would work hard at really digging deep to answer his questions. He was in the same M as you, why didn't he pursue the same things ?

Only when the real why and a targeted effort to fix it will give him any comfort that he is not a fool for agreeing to stay in this M. The status quo is going to mean a roommate with benefit situation or even a divorce.

We all have stress. Not everyone pursues things outside their M. Why was it different for you.

This also has the benefit of proving to yourself that this will not define you forever. Without a larger effort on your part, it will for both of you.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2559 | Registered: May 2010
WarpSpeed
♂ Member
Member # 32051
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my observations is that there are a fair number of WS that come and engage deeply in this forum and there are also a number that dip a toe in and don't participate frequently.

You've posted four times in 20 or so days. Certainly, you could be doing all sorts of work outside of this forum. This is just one resource available to a WS lookiing to work on herself, her husband's healing and her marriage.

Just want to point out that this is a long, multi-year slog. It is a LOT of work. Whether this place winds up being a significant part of that work isn't important, but a knowing, and acting on, the reality that it will require a long, sustained, grinding effort is important.

best luck


Me: BS (51)
Her: fWW (50)
Married 27 years
Two sons in college
Empty closet and note on bed Jan 2010, She filed for D Mar 2010, D final May 2010, Actually had D-Day and found out why it all happened July 2010. Remarried on 23rd Anniv Aug 2010

Posts: 1498 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas
Topic Posts: 16

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