Great you're thinking so much about this!
We are usually so much less willing to give ourselves permission for something (anything) than we would be to give it to someone else. It's easier somehow to be harder on ourselves and compassionate with others.
I wouldn't say you 'have it so bad' either because you are clearly smart, have a great wife, have like all of us the amenities of modern medicine, electricity, the internet...so many things to be grateful form from the way we have so much access to information, luxuries, even just everything at the supermarket...basically we are fortunate in a million ways! But no one thinks you are ungrateful or spoiled if in the midst of the real blessings of your life there are also real struggles. You are entitled to struggle. I don't mean that you should, or that people ought to spend their lives complaining--it's not that type of entitlement--but instead that having good things on one side of the scale does not mean that the difficult things on the other side of the scale simply disappear or that you can't acknowledge them. Both can be very real. Ideally, the negatives can be handled in such a way (through IC for instance) that they stop impeding the good parts; that they start to weigh less, to keep with the metaphor of a scale.
Thinking of a scale is also useful when getting into the question of different types of trauma or PTSD. Who is doing the measuring here? I'll answer my own rhetorical question ( ): no one is, unless it's you. You aren't stealing the thunder of people with combat or sexual assault trauma, or implying that those are not awful experiences, or claiming those people could never understand suffering. It all coexists--there is no competition. There is no maximum capacity that can't expand to encompass what happened to you.
No one will ever accuse you of having a victim mentality YOP. It is so obviously not who you are! You seem to fear straying into that category, though. Don't! Give yourself permission to acknowledge and validate your past traumas, without judging your motivations for doing so or whether they are 'bad enough' in some big picture. No one is going to be pitting your experiences against those of say a rape victim and then turning around to accuse you of having over-estimated the burden of what has happened to you. It's not a zero sum game.
All that said take this at your own pace and see what feels comfortable and where you end up. I'm not going to force you into a label and I doubt your IC will....maybe you will try it on for size, take what is useful, and discard the parts that don't sit right.