Met a guy online, we emailed for a few weeks, then he gave me his number and said text anytime. He was big on sending pictures, no inappropriate ones, just pics of him with his friends and sometimes of things he was doing that day. Normally I think texting pictures is weird, but I actually liked getting them from him. I told him I don't text pics to men, he said fine and we kept talking anyway.
I suggested we get together in person, he said he'd love to. That was before Christmas and still no date! We've made a few tentative plans that always fall through with a last minute excuse from him...the weather, he's sick...he called before our first plan and said he thought I should hear his voice. Also gave me his full name and encouraged Googling...little did he know I'd already investigated and found his professional profiles
Every time I think the cancellations are a hint that he's not interested, he'll text again and start an ongoing conversation. We're in the same profession which has been refreshing for me, I really like texting with him and enjoyed our phone conversation too.
I'm thinking I need to tell him I won't be texting anymore since he's not reliable and hasn't met me...but I also don't want to be missing out on something good by being too concrete about reading signals...I just can't think of legitimate reasons it would take this long for us to get together, but I want someone to tell me it's ok to hold on bc there's actually a good explanation and we'll live happily ever after...(rolling my eyes at myself bc I realize how silly that sounds)
I just can't think of legitimate reasons it would take this long for us to get together
Sorry, I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but that's my take on it.
[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 2:06 PM, January 13th (Monday)]
I'd guess married too. And I've done OLD off and on for a while, I've never had a guy tell me to Google him.
If it were me, I'd not confront, I'd probably pull back since your needs aren't getting met and move on to someone else. I would also be clear in communication and give him one last opportunity, as in: "I am interested in meeting you, how about this weekend for coffee?"
If one more "date" is broken, then tell him you are no longer interested, and you need to move your focus to someone that is interested in meeting.
Something is fishy….
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
Do you want to try one more time or you done?
You could always do a 'last chance to meet-up' and say if we are unable to get our schedules to work then we must be too busy to date each other. That would keep it light but send the message you are done playing cat & mouse?
Be careful not to reveal too much more until you can verify who he is.
[This message edited by Crescita at 3:43 PM, January 13th (Monday)]
My advice---don't contact this dude again. If he's interested, he can bust his tail trying to meet with you.
I agree with mandan66! Let him seek you out if he's interested, and he can make the plans to boot!
We've made a few tentative plans that always fall through with a last minute excuse from him...the weather, he's sick...he called before our first plan and said he thought I should hear his voice.
And Cres - I called him catfish when I talked about him to my friends... "Catfish called today" or "another possible date with catfish"...walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, right?
I did give him a last chance offer last weekend, saying I'd like to meet either that weekend or this week. He said "maybe Monday?" (Meaning today) but I already had plans for tonight, so he was supposed to check his schedule to see if we could fit in coffee, lunch, or early dinner...and instead I haven't heard anything from him all day.
Now the question is what to say if he does text another time...
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
I would probably just ignore him. Go ahead, be a poofer. Sometimes it is okay. He may suddenly "chase" you if you ignore. Not a good thing either.
Or you could just do a "I'm going to disengage note".
Are men always clear with their signals?
Clearer than he is.
Do NOT go down that road again. The signs are very clear
I'm also getting the "he isn't who he claims to be" or he is married vibe.
When someone shows you who they are: believe them! Do not make excuses for his rude behavior while holding on to your fantasy that he is Mr Perfect. He is not.
Delete his # from your phone so you aren't tempted to reach out in a lonely moment envisioning that he is Mr perfect.
thanks for the post
Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo