- 2 months gone realize he has had a GF and years and years of lies tumble out (not because he told me but i found out)- dating websites, PA's, escorts!!! etc
-3 months in- kids reveal in counselling that they know he has been cheating for years and couldnt tell me. oldest daughter confronted him 2 or so years ago and he intimidated her into thinking she "didnt see what she thought she saw"... meanwhile i was busy boosting his ego by telling everyone what a great and involved dad he was...
- 4 months in- great support, counsellors, kids doing better, doing fine financially, work good- STD tests come back. HEP B... new set of blood work ordered and referred to a hematologist? to check liver
ok i now officially think i can no longer do this.
I dont claim to be perfect but omg HOW could he do this to me???
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Well, maybe not intentionally, but the dumbasses did it any way. I am so unbelievably sorry for your hell. God's strength and blessing for you...
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"
Again, I'm really sorry.
It's REALLY important that you get an excellent hepatologist who is very up-to-date on current approaches. Acute hepatitis B is usually not treated, but chronic hepatitis is; the treatment can help prevent liver damage. So you'll want to find someone who knows how best to treat it. Don't accept a "wait and see" approach. Yes, you will have to do a certain amount of waiting to see if chronic disease develops. But there should be a plan of care in place--for monitoring, for initiating treatment if necessary, and for monitoring the effects of treatment at defined intervals. If you want to know some questions to ask the hepatologist, PM me; I've been down the liver disease route both professionally and as the sister of a man with hepatitis.
Someone said, "Be glad it wasn't something worse." Really, it's important to keep it from becoming something worse, and a good hepatologist can up the odds. If you don't know where to find one, I'd check the nearest medical university. That's where you'll get the most up-to-date evaluation and treatment.
I am so very sorry. It is horrible, horrible, horrible that people who purport to love us can do things that put us in such danger. You did not deserve this.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers---I am hoping you get the very good news that your body dispatches the virus well, and you have a full recovery.
Millions of hugs to you.
[This message edited by solus sto at 7:37 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)]
But when they transcend even THAT line and add insult to injury by playing Russian Roulette with our sexual health, I just think it enters the realm of unforgiveable at that point. That just screams of someone having absolutely zero respect or concern for their spouse's welfare and wellbeing.
You deserve so much better, whywhywhywhy. SO much better.
For what it's worth, I don't believe he set out to "do this to you." I believe you're merely the collateral damage caused by his disgusting, disrespectful quest to reach the absolute lowest point of his entire life. He's toxic and has stained you, your marriage, your children (for YEARS), and now your health on top of everything else.
Sending you strength.
What a wonderful gift he gave
Go back and re-read Solus post. Smart cookie that one is.
Seriously though you do need a Hepatologist (liver Dr, often also a gastroenterologist), not a hematologisy (cancer dr) or a Herpatologist (one who studies frogs/turtles/snakes). Although you are dealing with a snake, your liver comes first.
I know it's overwhelming thinking how in the world could someone knowingly do this to you. I know it would be a real stopping point for me, and might be a deal breaker. Even if he is doing everything right at this point.
He also needs to know this information, and go get himself tested/treated as well.
Treatment for Hep B has improved drastically, and if taken care of and not ignored often have very good outcomes.
Keep posting, keep putting yourself first, and stay strong for those kids.
thanks for all the hugs... so when is the nightmare over?