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Newest Member: FeebleHercules (44938)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: anxiety and depression
burntandtorn
♂ New Member
Member # 41502
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

roughly 2 months from D-day.

She's being pretty damn great. She's being understanding, she's putting effort in. She is naturally closed off, but has been opening up. I asked her to read "How to heal after... " and she did, and has seemed to put some of the methods from the book into action. She has dealt with my crushing mood swings fairly well. Obviously there have been little bumps here and there, but she is basically being the model of a remorseful spouse. I could go on further with the actions she is doing (and probably should for my own benefit), but I'll save that for a personal document.

I'm still going through this damn roller coaster. When she's home and able to comfort me, I feel somewhat better. During the day however, when I'm working (from home), I can get a sudden wave of crushing doubt/anxiety. I get panicked and feel like I HAVE to DO something. I feel like I'm just completely losing it at times.

and the worst part is that I KNOW that time is the only thing that can help at this point. Even these low points pass after a while (could be 20 min, could be an hour).

I just had to post this here to retain my sanity during one of these moments.

We've talked a little about it and agreed that maybe I should start working from coffee shops or an office instead of sitting at home alone, so that is step one, hopefully tomorrow I can start that.

--edit 1. look at that, can't even form a complete title while in the pits. I am, however, feeling marginally better now.

--edit 2. jeez, not even in the right forum! was supposed to be reconciliation I think.

[This message edited by burntandtorn at 12:13 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)]


Married 12 years, together 14
BH 34
WW 35 (multiple ONS)
2 children, 8 and 10.
In MC. Trying to reconcile.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: missouri
Kitty70
♀ Member
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you tried meditation or practicing being in the moment during the panic? I know, easier said than done in the moment. Maybe learning to detach from the feelings, or repeating a phrase of comfort while in the moment.

I think anxiety is common in these situations. Your whole world has been turned upside down.

Hugs


Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
burntandtorn
♂ New Member
Member # 41502
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have some calming exercises I do. Sometimes I feel like I'm just repressing or rugsweeping or whatever (when it is happening).

After the fact I can generally say, yeah, I should try harder to redirect that next time.


Married 12 years, together 14
BH 34
WW 35 (multiple ONS)
2 children, 8 and 10.
In MC. Trying to reconcile.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: missouri
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've updated your title for you.

Posts: 35167 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jovie
♀ Member
Member # 41956
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you able to call her when this hits?

I *think* my BH has similar feelings, and he calls me frequently during the day. Sometimes to talk out what he's feeling, or sometimes just to talk about nothing. Since you say she's able to comfort you when she's home, maybe talking through it with her would help.


Me - WW, 33
Him - BH, 37
Dday - 12/16/13

Posts: 214 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 5

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