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User Topic: Struggling with this
cass
♀ Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My dear close friend, confidante and former co-worker has been ill for some time. It's cancer which started in the stomach then spread over two years to her liver. She was doing so well after surgery and then chemo. We were hopeful.

We worked together (she taught me everything I ever learned about youth work) and shared our divorce pain and the raising of our respective daughters alone. Most of all we shared a humour that is unique to individuals thrown together in life who then experience an unexplainable and fabulous connection called friendship.

She moved away after her divorce to the city some time ago but friends do not need to be in contact every day or even every month. They can just pick up where they left off any time, and we did frequently over the years.

She is such an inspiration, always seeing the funny side of things and pointing out the silver lining in the negatives. She brought out the best in all whose lives she touched. We ran several youth groups together, in difficult areas and difficult times and often had to encourage our young people to move on to adult activities when they reached 18 because we couldn't get them to go away!!

I went to the city to visit her in hospital last week and her daughters told me she was on a high for days afterwards because we laughed so much together.

I hope together we taught our young people that they are worthy, that they are capable and that they can achieve anything they want to. I hope we taught them to strive, to work hard, to laugh and to be themselves because they are unique and strong. I hope we taught them to stay on track and never to give up hope for a good future. I think we did.

I know we all lose good friends, parents and family members. It is always hard to lose loved ones. She is just so young and vibrant to be facing the end so early in her life. I'm just struggling, and angry, and so sad. Not for me but for her girls, for her work and for the young people she fought for, and represented.

She doesn't have long. But life isn't measured in years but by who you were and what you gave to others, and she gave loads and then some.

I'm not looking for hugs or support because I will be ok (though I will gratefully receive them), I just needed to get this out.......somewhere, and as ever S.I. has provided me with the means. Thank you again S.I. and thank you my dear and precious wee friend, for being part of my life, for teaching me about young people and for showing me how endless laughter and humour can be brought into every single day and every situation.

[This message edited by cass at 5:06 PM, January 16th (Thursday)]


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She sounds like an amazing lady, cass.

Such a blessing to you she's been.

(((cass & BFF)))


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21041 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You may not be looking for hugs and support, but you've got them, honey. I'm so sorry.

((((cass, bff & kids))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What fantastic women you both are. I am in awe. Sending love to you and your dear friend and the lives she has touched.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44464 | Registered: Sep 2006
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Cass, bff & kids))))

Posts: 34748 | Registered: Mar 2011
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonderful tribute to her. Hugs to you all.
I lost my BFF to cancer three years ago. I treasure every memory. I was blessed to be able to say goodbye. Say everything to your friend now, in case she's heavily medicated later. Again, hugs.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
cass
♀ Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She left us on 7th of March, so peacefully and surrounded with love.

Her daughters asked if I would do the eulogy. It was a day of immense celebration, full of humour, wit, irony, sarcasm and cheek! It had to be because that was how she was. It portrayed her, and our work together with young people over many years, to her achievement of the highest award in the land for Best Practice in Youth Work.

Slumber sweetly my wee friend.


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
cass
♀ Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She left us on 7th of March, so peacefully and surrounded with love.

Her daughters asked if I would do the eulogy. It was a day of immense celebration, full of humour, wit, irony, sarcasm and cheek! It had to be because that was how she was. It portrayed her, and our work together with young people over many years, to her achievement of the highest award in the land for Best Practice in Youth Work.

Slumber sweetly my wee friend.


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
cass
♀ Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorry double post


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cass)))

I'm sorry for your loss... sounds like the world has lost a great lady.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24452 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad she had you in her life, and you her. True friends are so precious.

(((cass)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17341 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 11

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