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Newest Member: Dragonfly111502 (45331)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: t/j: compliments
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:21 AM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ama is right -- sorry if I was unclear.

Most guys do compliment me on the first date, even though I don't expect it.

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3404 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:08 AM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I take it as a compliment whenever someone notices something nice about me. I'd find it strange if I were on a date and they didn't remark/comment about something they noticed about me.

I notice a lot of nice things about people and I mention lots of the things I notice.

I can't actually remember if the sad clown was a complimenter or not. I do recall lots of Mills&Boon moments about how I made him feel (i.e.: love bombing) but not really a lot about me.

The biggest compliment he ever gave me was during False R. I was talking away and he got this wry smile on his face. When I asked what he was smiling about he said he loved the way I say my P's - [music lingo word I can't recall] perfect and that he has always loved it. It pains me to have that memory now because it was such a touching moment. I guess it was one of the rare times the compliment felt genuine, not just love bombing.

If I compliment her looks will she think I'm trying to make a move or that I'm shallow?

^^IMO if the compliment is genuine with no ulterior motive then it doesn't really matter how it is taken - the issue is theirs, not yours.

But don't mention tits until at least the third date. Actually, probably best to wait until you've met them.

Last year I went out with a guy who had the most astonishingly beautiful eye crinkles when he smiled. I blurted it out in the middle of a conversation randomly. He seemed kind of perplexed/surprised at first but then he laughed out loud (BIG eye crinkles). I'm sure he thought I was a freak but he liked it. They're still astonishingly beautiful even though I decided we weren't compatible.. AT ALL.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, January 18th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex gave me TWO compliments over SIX years. I remember the dates because I was taken aback each time. Though, he complimented other women in front of me (whether they could hear or not, at every opportunity) and he expected compliments for himself daily or he would get moody or punish me. (He's NPD)

Now a lack of compliments are a red flag.
If someone puts effort into appearance, outfit, making reservations, cleaning ect. a simple acknowledgement ("that looks nice") shows goods manners.

Posts: 500 | Registered: Jun 2012
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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