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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Help!!!! I told someone I should not have
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by iamsoblind42 at 11:11 PM, January 16th (Thursday)]


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 209 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
cissi
♀ Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You mean careless in that you should not have told your friend? I believe you should have told her, definitely. How would you feel if something like this was going on at her house when your daughter spent the night? She has every right to know and if the friendship between the girls is going to continue it should probably be only at her house for the time being. Even if the sexual situation had not happened, I would be livid knowing there was such heavy drinking between the adults while my child was in your care.

Not trying to hit you while you are down but try to look at it from her point of view, or if this were your daughter at their house.


Posts: 1425 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southern California
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I absolutely see her side and would be livid.

I have removed rest if post and request for help as I cannot handle being kicked again right now.

[This message edited by iamsoblind42 at 11:13 PM, January 16th (Thursday)]


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 209 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NO NO NO iasb42!!! Please come back!

I get it. I have followed your Springer thread and every time you have tried to reach out to someone it has backfired. Every. Single. Time. I know your options are limited to who you can talk to in your personal life. Sounds like you may have tried to reach out to someone? Parent of one of your kids? And it backfired?

I don't this cissi was trying to kick you when you're down. Take a look around this place. It's an anonymous triage/trauma center. People's emotions are running hot and many are passionate where kids are concerned. Myself included. Especially of my DDs.

Ever hear of a shotgun dad? You know the guy who cleans his guns at the table when the boyfriends come over to pick up the daughter. That's me. Maybe I should change my user from yop25 to shotgundad2. Although if you've seen my first thread know that I will never own a gun. I have a dark sense of humor. It's a defense mechanism for me. Thus some of the name calling at your offenders in the Springer thread. Apologies for that. I'm just trying to make you laugh, or maybe just crack a little smile.

Point of my rambling is that you don't get to go away. We won't let you! I've been here since Nov searching for answers. There is a lot of advise on this site. Good, bad, ugly, and beautiful. The point is for you to decipher what works best for you. This is all anonymous. Have you seen my threads? Please don't look. I've been brutally honest because I need to for myself. But that's what you are going to get here. Brutal honesty and lots of different ways of looking at that honesty.

I'm going away for a week and I am going to put SI away as I will have little time even for sleep on my work trip. When I come back you better still be here and you better have posted back to this thread!! Lots of people including cissi want to help.

Just to try to make you smile, maybe even just a little...I'm going to pull out a bit of my dark sense of humor again. Apologies in advance. In my part 2 thread I introduced the old me. Maybe I should have used THAT as my user. Ready... I used to be Mr. Calendar Guy. C'mon lades. You know that guy. Many of you are or were married to him. You know the guy that would throw the calendar in your face if you didn't have sex for 3 weeks or whatever and expect you to throw yourself down on the bed for him. That was me. I was an A**HOLE. Yep I admit it. I apologize to my W for that back over the summer and she laughed her a** off for weeks. Several of my female friends laughed at that one too.

Sorry that I'm rambling. I'm trying to make you smile just a bit. So come back to us. Talk to us. You don't get to walk away.

yop25/frmrly MCG out!


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2189 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
brohl5
♀ Member
Member # 13440
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with yearsofpain. Come back and let us help you. You need someone to talk to. We are here to help.


I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.


Posts: 5650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Indiana
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blind....talk this out with us.

If this is the "BF" that was having sex with your husband who gives a flying fuck what she thinks.

We are here. Talk with us about this.


{{{hugs}}}


k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6580 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
brohl5
♀ Member
Member # 13440
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

k9 it wasn't the BF. It was another friend whose D is BF with her D.

Blind, talk to us.


I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.


Posts: 5650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Indiana
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you come back and talk to us..

It does help to get advice and support...All you can do is make the best choices for you and kiddos as you move forward..

People can't go back and change what happened last week or last year, but many of us do learn from our bad and good experiences..


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Nov 2011
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping up this thread. not letting it go iasb42


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2189 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you should tell EVERYONE.

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
brohl5
♀ Member
Member # 13440
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I disagree you should tell everyone. I worked hard to keep the A from my kids, so I was selective who I told. After reading yearsofpain's story, I am very thankful I did.


I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.


Posts: 5650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Indiana
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. Last night and today were really rough but I am still here. Feeling I am in a fighting ring and just lost the last round but I will win the overall fight. Thanks for not giving up on me. Tears are back realizing I do have someone to talk to...all of you. Honestly you all have no idea how complete strangers mean so much to me right now.


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 209 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
brohl5
♀ Member
Member # 13440
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((huge hugs)))

You're going to be fine, I promise. I know it doesn't seem like that right now though.

Talk to us. Vent if you need to, ramble, ask questions, cry, whatever you need, we are here to lift you up.

You are not alone.

Are you getting rest? Eating? What do you need right now?


I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.


Posts: 5650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Indiana
GotMyLifeBck2013
♂ Member
Member # 40531
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness this is so new. Give yourself a break here. We ALL made mistakes and trusted people we shouldnt have. Ever seen one of those movies where the guy gets shot and runs around screaming for help? And some of those he was screaming for just turn their backs or slam the door in his face? You are an emotional gunshot victim, begging for a hospital full of doctors and nurses to save you. I can count on both hands a whole bunch of people who I told that just didnt care. But in the process i found out some fantastic things about some friends who bent over backward for me. You find out who the friends are quickly. Real quickly. Nice thing about SI is the vast experiences we have all had and our opinions will almost always mean you will find some posters that are bound to hit the right chord with you, and this includes a few waywards who really get it and are trying to help...youre in pain, let us help.


I define me! I don't just survive, I thrive!!

Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013


Posts: 289 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 14

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