First, I'm so sorry you're hurting.
Second, I know the following metaphor may not be helpful, but I can't stop myself.
At one point in my relationship with W2B I was hopelessly in love - in love without hope, sure that she'd send me away within a couple of dates, tops.
My solution was to stop seeing her, and that's how I started one weekend, even before a welcoming hug.
Then, during the hug, I heard a comment in my head: 'You want to end it now because you're afraid it will end in the future? Huh?' True story.
Share what you feel comfortable sharing.