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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Song Trigger
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sugarland's Stay used to kill me.

Now, meh, nothing but a song.

I started to play songs that bothered me over and over. Turn them up loud and let them play.

It took away the pain from them.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3844 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am lucky in this regard, as AP has terrible taste in music. Dark, depressing stuff - all chosen to make her look more intelligent and interesting than she actually is. She can take Tom Waits and stick him you know where! It is actually a joke between us now. . . I mean, this is a woman who prided herself on liking whiskey and Tom Waits. This was a "catch?" Jesus.

She and my H shared songs, but not so much in their meanings, but just music they liked. I haven't asked which songs he sent her, and I don't think I want to know. I am sure many of them are songs we shared. And in return, I think he liked very little of what she sent to him.

me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.

Posts: 2054 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bionicgal, I had to laugh when I read your Tom Waits reference because there's a song he sings that is so A related and sad and I love it. Others make me gag but for some reason I can listen to that one. It's called Poncho's Lament.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 943 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♂ Member
Member # 38846
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if anyone else had this reaction, but I found SO many trigger songs in my music library (I'll third Bryan Adam's "Run To You") I took all my CDs to a used bookstore and sold them. I dont listen to much music anymore (too much noise in my head) but if i do, it has to be Jazz, Classical, or Opera. Pandora is helpful.

Me: BH, 54
Her: WW, 54 4 yr LTA
Married 31 yrs, 2 college age boys
DDay #1: 15Feb13 - LTA 2008-2013
DDay #2: 27Jan14 - ONS, same AP 2007 - turns out it was a 5 yr LTA
Trying to understand

Posts: 250 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It helps a bit that W'S ring tone right now is "You Lie" by the Band Perry.

Mine for him was "I'm Hard to Love" by Lee Brice

Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6542 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
♀ New Member
Member # 41234
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to google Run To You by Bryan Adams...(gag)...what a horrible song. I have to second Say Something. It reminds me of how I felt when I had no idea what was eating away at my husband. I also think of him when I hear Lee Brice's Hard to Love.

ME: 30, WH: 30, Married: 12 years, 4 amazing kids
DD: Oct 2, 2013- 2 month EA/PA while deployed.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18

Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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