I think that we shouldn't paint anything in broad strokes of "I'm a people pleaser" and view that as a negative in a relationship.
In a committed relationship, meaning you are only with each other, there should be a level of doing things that please your partner. After all, you are two separate people with two separate needs who need to learn about each other. Part of a relationship is communicating your needs, hearing the other persons needs and coming up with a compromise in the middle that leaves both partners satisfied.
For example, when I'm in a committed relationship, I don't need to see the guy everyday, maybe twice a week if it works. BUT, I like to receive a text at least once a day. Just a "Good Morning. Thinking about you." That small gesture of a text means so much to me.
I don't expect him to know that…but I do expect that when I say, "This is what I need to feel secure", the guy is going to listen and try to please me. That doesn't make him a people pleaser, but tuned into my needs.
If a guy says to me, "I like when you tell me I'm hot…", well, then I'm going to tuck that information away and make an effort to tell him. I will go out of my way to buy things I know he likes, wear clothes I know he likes, etc.
I just think what is missing for you, both G and V, is learning to communicate your needs and why you need them. Then listening to the response and working out something that works for everyone.
Usually these issues present as one thing, but are really about something else. Here is another example in my life right now: My son is having separation issues, and therefore doesn't want to see his Dad. Well, that pissed off/hurt my ex. As I tried to explain to ex, "This isn't about ds hating you. This is about a little boy who misses his Mommy, and having to go to your house means you are the one making him miss his Mommy. So, although the problem looks like he doesn't want to go to his Dad's house, the real problem is that he just misses his Mommy."
The surface may look like you don't want to spend time with your SO, or that is how she perceives it, when the real issue is that you simply NEED time alone to recharge. It looks like one thing (rejection), or she perceives it as rejection based on how it is framed. "I just got home and hanging with my kids. I just want some alone time" instead of communicated like: "I really need to recharge my introvert batteries. I can't wait to see you Friday at dinner!"
We label ourselves as codependent, or people pleasers or whatever negativity we heap on ourselves, when most of it is just learning to communicate our needs and do the small things that please "normal" people.
We view ourselves through those lenses that our EX's installed in us. We focus on everything we do wrong, instead of being thrilled at what we are trying to do right.