I feel guilty for saying this but my life has changed for the better. I went about everything the wrong way but 1 year on and I don't take drugs and I only ever drink responsibly. I talk about my feelings more and I recognise how I feel more.
Recognising my own feelings has helped me recognise my husband's feelings too. I have more empathy than I ever have done and I know my life is my own hands. Sure I wobble and I get mixed up but I do try and enunciate my feelings. I've learned that when I say how I feel about something my husband's reaction is nearly always positive and it often makes me feel better!
I had a wobble at New Year and I told my H. I wanted to get high and party and I thought he'd be angry. He wasn't angry at all, he said "come on let's go out!" Dancing and laughing with him then returning home in good spirits was so much better than any drug I've taken and the consequences of New Year this year was a fantastic family orientated New Years Day.
So, I can't help but feel my life has improved 1 year on. It doesn't mean I don't wish I'd just made the changes myself instead of hitting self destruct and taking my family with me.
I must say SI has been a great help to me (and to my H). Thank you so far and no doubt I/we'll still need your support for a while yet.
Edited to say: I referenced New Year because last year 2012/2013 I'd taken such a bizarre concoction of pills that I was passed out when the clock struck midnight and New Years day was spent in Accident & Emergency with lots of arguments from every which way.