They did what they did, ignored everything else, knowing full well, their betrayed spouse would be devastated, their marriages compromised once they get/got caught.
A lot of the time, this is even a discussion point with the AP or someone else that knew about the A. "My spouse will leave me if I get caught...please don't say anything..."
To me, this is evidence that there was no ignorance on the WS's part. Any WS that hid their affair KNEW on some level that their BS would be upset/angry/hurt.
Perhaps they didn't realize how encompassing the hurt would be, how huge the fallout would be, or how long the pain would last for. To me, that is almost worse though. They all knew we would be at least a little bit hurt, decided that what they were doing was worth it, and did it anyway. That's like saying, "Oh, so sorry I cut your legs off. I didn't realize the machete would chop off both your legs completely off- all I meant to do was cut them."I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."