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Newest Member: PTSD (44945)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A couple of things.....
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My nephew is overseas in the Marines. Stationed in Japan. He has a girl back here at home and he really loves her. They are young and not married. He has caught her in 2 lies and both times she has lied about being with another guy here at home. I don't like it one bit and have advised him to let her go and see if she becomes a better women or stays the little girl she is now.
During the conversation he says that although he has looked for a single gentleman pen pal if my age he has not found someone worthy of me. This is not the first time I have heard this from friends,family or my older children. So that leads me to wonder what that says about me, men in general today and the man who fucked up his life with me?
Just throwing out conversation thoughts here.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1754 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds to me like you're both in each others business a little too much.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20170 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
finallymefirst
♀ Member
Member # 41060
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like the people in ur life think very highly of you and want the best for u. As a result they don't want to make a mistake setting u up with someone.

I think its nice that you can discuss relationship issues with your nephew.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2013
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't say anything to him about his girlfriend, and try to meet a man not through pen-pals.

Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's great that your nephew talks to you and can confide in you. I don't understand why people are reacting negatively to that. I wish I had had a trusted family member to confide in when I first learned my xWH was a cheater. It might have saved me years of heartbreak.

As to people saying they can't find anyone worthy of you, I get that too. I also get people telling me that every man I show interest in isn't good enough for me. I don't really know what all of that means.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3089 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for both sides of opinions. I like his girlfriend quite a bit, I am not sure that she is ready for a half a world away relationship. They are both very young, early 20's, and truthfully my nephew is looking for a far more mature young lady than she is currently capable of being. I have no doubt that they love and care for each other, they just have different interpretations of what that love is and looks like. As far as staying out of it, my nephew is in Japan serving our country, away from home, family and friends. When he calls with a question, I will be there for him.
As far as the other side of the original post, I have been given some things to think about and just wondered if any of you have heard things like this. I find it sweet and at the same time frustrating. I am not perfect, I know that, yet my family seems to want to protect me from the world. I am trying to figure out how I feel about all of it.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1754 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So that leads me to wonder what that says about me, men in general today and the man who fucked up his life with me?

I think it says that so many people today have their priorities so far out of whack that it makes it more difficult to find a good match.

Sometimes I’ll read about a WS and an AP, no character, respect, responsibility, compassion, yet they think they’ve found the catch of the century because they have some form of currency and corresponding body parts. “All you need is love.”

Your nephew is young still, and so are you for that matter. It might take a bit longer to find someone worthwhile, but there are still great people out there and when you find each other you'll appreciate it.


Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Topic Posts: 7

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