I still haven't learned why she cheated. Maybe I never will.
Me: BH, 46
Her: WW, 43
"I've learned that all the preconceived notions of what people would do if they found out their spouse cheated are bullshit."
I always said if my spouse ever cheated on me it would be over. When it happened it was such a huge shock, I really had no idea what to do. I still feel that way at times.
Best quote ever...
The only thing I can say, is that cheaters have downgraded the value of the person they cheat on. But if we all take a step back, we can say "no" to the downgrade that was
Absolutely agree. I told myself (and I am sure I mentioned it to my WW at a point prior to getting married) that cheating was a complete dealbreaker for me, noting that my father had done it to my mother.
Well, well, well, look where I am now...
Me BS (34) WW (29)
Married 2 years
2y old Daughter
D-Day 05 Nov 13
I've learned that my WW is more concerned with trying to save face with her FOO that she's willing to put her own children through hell.
This is exactly the conclusion I came to. And once she told her parents and they responded with "Oh that's OK we understand, it was all his fault", she once again compartmentalized her FOO issues and felt it was all ok once again. Just shows you where the origins of her childhood problems came from. Never being held accountable by her parents for anything and forgiving their children too easily.
I've learned that all the preconceived notions of what people would do if they found out their spouse cheated are bullshit.
I honestly never gave this a lot of thought before because I never thought she could do such a thing, but you're right. Best part is I hear friends and family say..."Well my spouse would NEVER do such a thing to me!" My response is now..."Oh really?...so what makes you think you are so fucking special that they wouldn't? Good luck with your unconditional blindness. Oh and by the way, doesn't your spouse travel for business for a living like mine?"
Their disrespectful comments make me so angry I generally like to follow up with a few statistics for them that puts them into shock. "Did you know that infidelity touches 80% of all marriages?...that either one or both have experienced it to some extent or another?"
Fact is this comes out of the mouths of some SAHM's I bump into who have gained 40 pounds since they got married and honestly think their husband's eyes don't wander when they aren't around. No disrespect to anyone in here, but it's pure ignorance on their part.
[This message edited by SeanFLA at 10:20 AM, January 21st (Tuesday)]
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
I also think that beautiful women, say top 5 percent, the high school cheerleaders, homecoming court girls, have lots of offers and with a few nips and tucks can still attract even much younger men into their forties. I used to love having men come over and high five me, even men I didn't know. Now it sickens me because I know she isn't really just for me.
My friends too have used the slut word, and it hurts because I married the slut! I love the slut! I want to reconcile with the slut. I think too there was a little comeuppance in there, like yeah your wife is way hotter than mine but at least I didn't marry a slut.
James Russell Lowell — 'Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people.'