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General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 2K more here since I joined...
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It just makes me so sad sometimes. I'm still reeling and trying to figure it out. And I see that 2000 more hurting people are out there, looking for answers and support, since last August when I found SI.

((((to all the newbies)))))

And a huge thanks to all the veterans who stick around to coach us all through this mess.

Thanks to all those who "work" here too! Glad to have this safe place to come to!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 20 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, MC/IC/FC,
He officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 526 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know what you mean, there's almost 23,000 more from when I joined. It's devastating to think that that many more have needed the help and comfort provided here.

[This message edited by betrayedfriend at 10:15 PM, January 20th (Monday)]


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 819 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, January 20th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does make me very sad to think about...especially when you figure in all the children, and all of the people NOT here....it's honestly heartbreaking. So many people affected by so many poor decisions.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Flourgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40937
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's really sad that so many are trying to survive this reality. I'm just so glad this site is here for us. I thought I was losing my mind before I found this space. Even if I don't always post I can read the threads and see we are all struggling on the roller coaster together. It's so isolating and nobody in my real life wants to talk about it. They can't understand what this does to you. For both WS and BS we can see we're not alone.


BS me 38
WH him 39
Dd 7/1/13. TT 7/22/13
SAHM with 4 wonderful kids

Posts: 133 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kansas City
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, consider the ones affected by infidelity that lurk but never join, or never find this site at all. We will never know how many there are.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Oct 2013
lostandhopless
♂ Member
Member # 41568
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so thankful for this site. My thought is even one is too many.


Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....

Posts: 98 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: WI
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

StillStanding1,

Indeed it's sad. But silver lining. It's not 2000 more hurting, its 2000 more who have found a place of healing.

I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found this place (day after DDay no less, though I didn't make an account until the nest weekend).

Still with that I made and continue to make many mistakes. But at least I'm on my way to rebuilding my life with my head up high and the right advice. Thanks to everyone here.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
IC Quote 3/6/14: "You Married a powder keg"

Posts: 480 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, Still, we joined right about the same time. I lurked for just a little over a week before joining.
It's sad that so many damaged and broken people are out there causing massive amounts of even more damage through their A.
But, it is good that there are places like this to help us not become even more damaged than our WSs and that this places exists for those WS that genuinely want to fix what they have broken as well.
I have learned Soooo much from the folks here. I now know what red flags to look for in future relationships. I am slowly fixing myself and figuring out how on earth I became so co dependent during the M.
I cannot change the past, but I can align my future to set myself up for the maximum amount of happiness.
StillLivin


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB

Posts: 1787 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely agree with you guys on the "silver lining". SI has been my sanity. I am so grateful to all the people who share their stories and experiences and try to help others heal. I've connected with some real incredible people here. And, although I don't post my own story much, I gain insight from others and feel a huge amount of satisfaction in being able to comfort others.

The incredible result is how much I am growing as a person since this all occurred. SI has been monumental in allowing me to dig into myself and also better analyze our M and my H. No matter what happens to me or my M going forward, I know I am in a much better place mentally to handle whatever life throws my way. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

Often, the advice here is better than from our C. Think I'll start a new thread on that...


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 20 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, MC/IC/FC,
He officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 526 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
Coachdig10
♂ Member
Member # 41706
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2000 since August is incredible. I am one of the 2000 and wished I had found SI sooner. When I joined, I was astonished at the amount of people on here. I am glad their is a site like this but it makes me sad for humanity that there is so many.


BS- 42
WS- 36
Married 16
Kids- 3
DDay 1/17/13

Posts: 52 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: California
dontknowwhyme
♂ Member
Member # 21587
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few years ago I had graphed members vs. time from 2003 to 2012. In that time frame new memberships grew very steadily at nearly 5000 per year. Since I joined, the SI family has almost doubled.


BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.

Posts: 937 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
EB1541
♀ Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is very sad to think about. I joined the site a few days ago and has been keeping me going with all the support and advice. It's nice to know I am not alone and there are other people who care about my well-being.

*hugs* to everyone!


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Topic Posts: 12

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