Of course you look at her FB page. This woman is a true stalker. You are trying to somehow know something about her. It might not be a healthy habit you have but it is certainly understandable.
I feel your H should be helping you through this, he did bring the crazy in. Not getting upset with you that you are asking questions or looking at her page.
Hoping the courtdate will bring you an end to this stalking. How couldn't she be charged?
If I were in your situation, I'd probably go to the court date. Just because your presence will make her uncomfortable and you're sending a message that you are not afraid of her and you won't tolerate her behavior.
Get rid of that facebook page.
She isnt worth the mental energy you spend on her.
I've stalked the ow women too, but it truly isnt healthy and will prolong your agony. I still upon occasion want to do it, but I know its not worth my time. They're trash, we need to put them out to the curb.
Lose her like a bad tooth. The more you can get her out of your head, the faster you'll move beyond this nightmare.
Good Luck at court
Then I blocked her. It was a tangible reminder to me when I would go to look at her FB page and it wouldn't be found. I would even think "SHE blocked ME!"... then I would look at my blocked list and it was I that blocked her. There were times I would unblock so that I could look, but that is such a hassle cause then I had to way 48 hours (I think) in order to block her again - and it would drive me nuts that maybe she was on her computer looking at my stuff now that I had her unblocked. It truly is crazy-making.
So I agree - get rid of that fake FB page. Block her on your real page. Becoming indifferent to her really is a much better place to be.
[This message edited by Lucky2HaveMe at 9:04 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]
Please remember that OP namecalling is against Reconciliation Forum guidelines.
Everything I have found out - from the people she associates with to the events she attends - confirms what I suspected . She is a gold digging, social climbing opportunist who is only thinking of herself. I am not worried about her in terms of competition at all, plus all of my husband's real friends have told him he is an idiot for doing what (and who) he did. If she rears her ugly head, I can ruin her reputation in about 3 phone calls. I expect that at some point I will bump into her…and when I do…she better run fast.
eta: OOPS! Just realized the error of my ways!! I hate getting my hand slapped.
Has anyone else been obsessing over the AP ??
At first I was obsessed with learning who these prostitutes were, what they looked like, looking up their websites, reading their reviews, and even reading escort forums where they sometimes post. I was trying to understand a world that is so foreign to me. I mean, I know it exists, of course, but trying to understand how it sucked my husband in. I still look at these sites from time to time, not as obsessively as I did at first. I never did find 4 of these prostitutes so they are still a mystery to me beyond knowing their (fake) prostitute names and whatever my wh told me about them. It's unlikely I'm going to find anything on those 4 now, I imagine, but every now and then I get compelled to try. I still get the urge to look at the others from time to time as well. I dunno, maybe I like to think I'll find out something terrible happened to one or more of them and I'll feel like karma was on my side finally or something.
I really feel sorry for you....to go from the stress of a person stalking you to then find out WHY it is happening sounds very disorienting and crazy-making, as others have said. How traumatic, to have to get a restraining order! I'm not surprised you are as obsessed as you say. I don't have nearly as much drama from the AP but I am still obsessed. Like others it annoys me that I care and I really hope for the day that I don't dignify her existence with a response/reaction. But, that day isn't today. We are only torturing ourselves though, and letting AP cause more pain. Plus, it sounds like your efforts at R are true and your WH is working hard and this is driving a wedge between you. I'm sure he had no idea (because they never do) that this would happen but if he is truly remorseful it must be awful to watch her destroy you like this. Please make some boundaries for yourself and try to detach from this woman!! You deserve to focus on yourself, your M, your WH. (hugs)
I totally understand the desire to want to do this...I WAS THERE, but don't waste your time or energy on something so incredibly not worth it! YOU are better!!
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18
I do the same thing....I pick apart and analyze every answer he gives me. I hate that I do this. I only make it harder for him to open and honest the next time and I know this but yet, I still do it. I think it's because I can't allow myself to trust anything he says about the OW and because it usually contradicts with something he has said before. It sucks. I really miss the trust we once had
Either way, what you're doing is normal. I, too, went on Facebook to figure out what OM looked like and actually showed his photo to women I know. They were shocked, too, that WW went for a guy so far below us in terms of looks. (and decency and respect and so on)
Honestly, they just seem to go for availability when they want to cheat.
She got nothing from him that I'd ever want. She got a broken man that was willing to destroy his whole life.
That made my day. I am less than a month from dday and feel obsessed about the OW. Those two sentences have really touched me. Thanks so much.